Bit of a shower thought: Outside of limited circumstances, like interviews or therapy, nobody is really expected to give you honest feedback on how you come across.
This sucks. I’ve been told I come across as unfriendly once, but I have no idea if I was just nervous and tired at the time. I still cherish that one moment almost 10 years ago when someone told me I was funny in some corporate team building bs.
Now, I could ask friends and family, but I believe they would probably not tell me the full, honest truth. After all, they (hopefully) like me and I would probably avoid being too harsh to everyone but very close people in private.
At the same time, I know plenty of people who really should get some feedback, who probably believe they are funny while everyone is bored and annoyed and hopes they talk a little less and the like.
So, are there socially accepted ways to get feedback on how you come across?
I realize that people are strange, relationships are hard, P!=NP and anime is not real. Still, it would be nice to have.
Dawg every time I try to get honest feedback, people just butter me up and downplay my bad behaviors instead of just telling me. He’s a real one not neurodivergent.
One needs to talk with mature confidants, not just people who don’t know oneself well. They’ll be far likelier to tell you what’s up.
How does one know if another is mature enough to give truthful and honest feedback? Furthermore, how does one discern if said feedback is actually truthful and honest?
Feels like a simple problem, but the underlying social logistics is quite intricate.
Oh, come on, surely you know the answers to these. Nonetheless, I’ll humor you:
See how they provide feedback to/about other people. How accurate are they? Have they been proven wrong? What is their track record? If it’s consistently good, then that’s kind of a really strong voucher, no?
Same as above; did you agree with their assessments of others based on the info you yourself have of those subjects? Can you verify that everything, or at least most of what, they said is correct? If they’re consistently exhibiting honesty, then why is there any reason to doubt it with you?
You neutrally build a case proving or disproving their maturity and trustworthiness. It’s almost scientific!
I understand, one can manufacture a playbook to analyze an individual, just like the one you provided for my two questions.
Still, the problem remains, as it is with most human interactions, there’s no objective answer, it all varies based on human nature and the environment involved.
Indeed It is an indication, but it does not guarantee an absolute answer like: Helium is heavier than Hydrogen; a fact that can’t be disputed.
True, you can do that, but if one is asking for another’s opinion, it is hard to evaluate it yourself, there’s bias all around us, more so when we are not aware of it.
I understand your approach, and maybe I’m being a bit pedantic, but I can’t see how this isn’t a really complex problem, with no exact solution.