Asking this as a Qatari with a polygamous father. My father’s second wife is Swedish and I know it was a tough pill to swallow for her family and friends back home.

  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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    1 hour ago

    Ignoring the sexist reasoning behind polygamy, there are practical ones too.

    I have one dick.

    Its risky to have sex with multiple partners. The more partners, the more that risk of STIs increases.

    The amount of intimacy (not sex, intimacy) a spouse gets with a partner decreases the more spouses one has. At some point “starvation of intimacy” will occur, leading to a breakdown in the relationship.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      17 minutes ago

      The starvation of intimacy thing is the only reason I would consider a poly relationship because I’ve only ever been with one woman who had a sex drive close to mine. I could have easily gave it to 2-3 of any of the other women I’ve been with as often as they wanted without anyone missing out. I also am fair minded/hypocritical about it though and if I was was allowed to sleep with other people so can they and I’m not interested in a relationship with a woman who sleeps with other dudes so it wouldn’t work. Also doubt I could meet the emotional needs of more than one at a time as I’m terrible at that. I guess that’s what polygamy is for though, the man gets all the benefits and the woman is locked into it more. So that’s shitty.

    • myheadphoneson@reddthat.comOP
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      1 hour ago

      How does the risk of STIs increases when these are exclusive partners to you, not casual hookups? And the second part is solved by just having good time management and open, efficient communication.

      • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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        1 hour ago

        The risk just increases with multiple partners, regardless of “exclusivity.”

        And no, the second does not get solved by time management and communication - you literally have less time to spend with each wife.

        Out of one year, if you have 100 hours to spend, a truly equal amount of time is 50/50. The man gets 100 hours of intimacy, but each wife is starved of those 50 hours. If you increase the amount of time you can spend to 200 hours, then an equal split is now 100/100 and each wife is starved of 100 hours of intimacy. There is no way to prevent this with multiple partners.

            • ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com
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              14 minutes ago

              Betting on married partners being honest is peak ignorance or wishful thinking

              What a sad life you must have

              • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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                5 minutes ago

                It’s just opsec, dude. When other people’s lives are on the line, that’s how you have to think. Don’t be so judgemental.

        • myheadphoneson@reddthat.comOP
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          58 minutes ago

          But why exactly? The women only sleep with you, you only sleep with them. The only way I can see the risk increasing is if either you or them cheat, which at that point the cheating is the issue not the polygamy. It… quite literally does. Isn’t the whole of intimacy for all parties involved to feel satisfied and not neglected? Not all people have the same needs, or require the same amount of time be spent with them to feel satisfied and happy. Make sure everybody feels satisfied by openly talking about it.

          • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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            33 minutes ago

            Wow. So, you acknowledge that there is a chance of anyone cheating? Then the more partners you have, the more likelihood that one of them cheats.