I had a discussion amongst our friend group when there was a movement to decriminalize homosexuality. One of my friends commented He doesn’t mind till it doesn’t effect him.
I couldn’t fathom what he meant or what was his thinking behind his comment. Did he think they were going to make it compulsory that people must be gay?
You know, more gay weddings means more cake.
As an asexual married person, I am adamantly in favor of more weddings. Could even have some fake weddings where the cake is real, trick a baker into making a wedding cake, pay them, but the wedding isn’t real and it’s just a ruse to get more cake!
Wait, is that just buying a wedding cake? Can you just… do that?
Also, I suppose we could try other genres of cake that don’t need such an expensive excuse?
You want to trick the baker into… charging you extra for a cake labeled “wedding”? Do I have that correctly?
I’m just a lesbian.
That’s fine, I’m just trying to save you some money. Regular non-wedding cakes are way cheaper than wedding cakes and often much better anyway…
My wife and I almost had our wedding cake made by the local grocery chain. They had our favorite combinations of flavors and textures, could do incredible decorations, and have an unrivaled reputation for catering, but they only make sheet cakes.
My mom was so distraught by the thought of us serving grocery store sheet cake at our wedding that she offered to pay in full for our wedding cake, but only if we got a tiered cake from the same company that made my sister’s wedding cake. My sister’s cake was sufficiently yummy, and it would save us about $500, so we agreed.
They refused to make the flavor combinations we wanted because it wasn’t traditional, and they forgot to serve the second cake. TWO CAKES?! Yes, my wife and I disagreed on what cake to serve our guests, so we each picked our own cakes and then were going to judge which of us was better at cake-picking by seeing who had the least cake left at the end of the night.
My mom paid nearly $2000 for multi-tiered disappointment, and it was dry. When we went back to the bakery a year later for our anniversary slice, they told us it would cost $50. We decided that wasn’t worth it, so we bought all the cake we could eat from the grocery store with that same money. (COVID prices)
Moral of the story: don’t get hung up on wedding cake. Any cakery bakery can make a cake that tastes like a wedding cake, so take that off its multi-tiered pedestal. If you like cake, then buy it often, and buy it everywhere. When you wanna take a break from cake, custom order a cake for yourself for a future date, use the money from all the cakes you don’t buy during your pastry pause to instead treat yourself to something magnificent. If the bakery asks if you’re celebrating anything, tell them that you’re celebrating how much you love cake.
Reject normalcy, buy the cakes.
I once attended a wedding in the States once and I still distinctly remember the wedding cake. It was the worst cake I ever had.
It was pretty, mind you. But the texture sucked and it tasted like sugar and fat and nothing else. It was embarrassingly bad. For some reason none of the Americans present saw anything wrong with this monstrosity.
A wedding cake celebrates one of the most important moments of two people’s lives. It’s ridiculously expensive. And Americans either fully accept that it’s a barely edible piece of decoration or they actually have no standards regarding baked goods at all.
(The success of Twinkies does suggest a most unhappy conclusion here…)
Yeah, we just kinda accept that wedding cake often is aesthetics over taste. Over on the other site, r/fondanthate is a thing that exists so yeah it’s bad. We still eat the shitty wedding cake out of politeness and because it’s still cake.
(The twinkie profits weren’t enough to save Hostess from bankruptcy so they’re not that successful.)
Well, my Mark of the Beasus friend, for a country that consumes insane amounts of treats, fats, and sugar, we’ve got really shit tastes. Like, we wanted a strawberry cream cheese icing with strawberry slices in the center with lemon poppy cake. Instead, we got yellow lemon-flavored cake with pink fat 'n sugar icing. I swear, it was like a child made it.
But it sure looked pretty!
I seen people do two cakes: one that’s expensive but is just for looks and one that’s cheap but tasty.
Got my wedding cake at the nearest cake shop to where we were having our celebration dinner*, which was a place that specialised in gluten-free cakes.
They were so happy to be making a wedding cake (that they could post up on their website etc) that we paid all of £25 for it. And it was tasty as fuck.
10/10 would do it again
* We eloped, so it was just nice Lebanese food for us and out witnesses :-)
Shit, that’s great! Good for you!
You went back for the anniversary slice? You guys are mad!
“Babe, remember how constipated our wedding cake made you? I loved the way it crumbled into dust like a desiccated chamomile flower. Let’s do that again!”
It wasn’t that bad, plus we thought it would be free, but that was a different bakery that offered a free anniversary slice. Y’know, one year in, superstitions and paranoia started to seep in. We started to fear that by not even trying to secure an anniversary slice, even if it was disappointing, we’d condemn our young marriage to apathy and dissolution.
So, we hopped in the car, drove for half an hour, were disappointed a second time by the same bakery, and then instead ate something that we actually enjoyed.
Sure you’ve had wedding cake, but have you tried leap day cake? Arbor day cake? Hooray it’s Tuesday cake?
You could also just go to the store and like buy a cake.
But then there’s no planning, no heist!
That actually made me chuckle. Thanks for that. This is why I’m still on the internet.
I’ve come to learn over the years that biggest driving force behind homophobia is not irrational fear or ignorance, but irrational disgust. The most prevalent type of homophobia are the ones who genuinely believe that is something that’s disgusting, gross, and abnormal human behavior. They’re fully aware that it won’t affect them in any way and they’re fully aware that oppressing these people will cause them great harm, but they will pursue it anyway because they think it’s for the greater good. They think it’s something necessary to achieve a clean and healthy society that’s free of filth. This type of homophobia can’t be resolved with simply logical reasoning because often times, the underlying opposition isn’t even coherent, it’s just an emotional reaction.
It all boils down to them imagining the sex act. It’s always about sex for these repressed people.
I think there is a key part you are missing here, and that is not only they find it disgusting, but they are afraid they just might, could, maybe be interested or enjoy that “abnormal human behavior”. They’re afraid that the phone call is coming from inside the house.
I think that’s the difference between people who think it’s icky but don’t think it needs to be stopped (like gay men who find sex with women icky/unnatural), and people who not only think its icky but also want to wipe it and everyone who engages in it off the face of the earth.
Don’t like green bean casserole at the potluck? Don’t eat it. No need to comment on it’s existence. It’s not going to jump onto your plate. If someone says they love it, nod, say “glad you like it”, be happy for them, and move on.
I’m just confused why in 2026 people still have a problem with things that aren’t their business. It shouldn’t matter to you what these two men do. All that matters is that they love each other.
I never got the opposition. The world is such a hateful place, if two people find their person it should be celebrated. Especially with CAKE! and DANCING! More love is a good thing!
But… but… my invisible friend in the sky says he’s going to torture me for all eternity, if I do any gay stuff! Because he loves me!
Im not a fan of cake OR dancing!!!
But if people make each other happy and i dont have to spend a lot to celebrate that, sure!
Never really understood the issue, like it doesn’t detract anything for the rest of us? I am straight, middleaged, married to a woman I have been with for 22 years. Why the fuck should I feel threatened by who someone loves.
For years my attitude to anything involving consensual adults that caused no harm to others:
- Do I have to do anything? No? Well knock yourself out!
(I have recently adjusted my attitude to defend peoples right to do consensual things, as there is so much hate)
My gripe has been more in the lines that why the fuck do you need to show the world HOW you love someone? I support your right to make love suspended from load bearing beams by a metal hook up your anus in a latex gimp suit, but like fuck if I care for you to show me.
“My gripe has been more in the lines that why the fuck do you need to show the world HOW you love someone?” Because I believe in equal rights.
If a straight couple can hold hands and kiss on the park, Why would I have to hide the same behavior just because both me and my partner are of the same gender?
Additionally, for normalization and for communal support. A lot of people feel like passive support is enough, but then going into social media gives you a glimpse of how trans killers are celebrated, how Pride events are mocked, and how attending to one of them, or even being found to be gay or Trans can get you assaulted.
We need visibility if we are ever going to reach integration and freedom.
Like I stated, I have amended my previously stance of “Knock yourself out” to a more pro active stance just because of the increased hate. I can’t be just silently accepting.
And I am not talking about showing affection. A kiss, holding hands, hugging.
I am looking at the Pride parade and seeing floats of leathermen and gimps and other kinks. And I am not kink shaming, I just don’t see how that is relevant in the discussion. If you need the whole hardware store to get it up is cool by me, I don’t get why it needs to be expressed in the context of I like men/female/all the colors of the rainbow in between
Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding mate, and same here. I see no sense or value in those things being on display but at the same time, I do respect them because it is legal.
You do see things just as revealing in many straight spaces though, such as cheerleaders, and while not as openly sexual as some of the things one sees at Pride, to me it still looks like a bit of a double standard in that regard.
No worries :) I agree there are double standards. On everything from commercials to cheer leaders (although the latter is not common in Norway where I live.)
Here’s a fun little tid bit I once brought up with a relative.
Same sex couples are a benefit tax wise.
They’ll get married, pay their taxes, contribute to society like any other couple, but with one key caveat: they don’t accidentally make new mouths to feed and extra burdens on our systems and infrastructure.
Last I checked, 2 gay men (or 2 lesbians for that matter) aren’t gonna accidentally make a new mouth to feed, a new student in our public education, a new person that has to use our roads, etc. If they want a kid it’s intentional. And statistically they’re significantly more likely to adopt (bringing the number of children in those systems down as well)
They still were against it though because “they just don’t like the idea of it” but hey, that’s one of the reasons them and I don’t talk anymore. One of the others being that they found out I was Bi lol
But that economic angle is kind of dangerous.
As that always was one of the technical reasons behind which people, who probably just hated gays, hid.
E.g. in Germany the raison-d’etre for the conept of marriage comes from the constitution. Something along the lines of "the state needs to actively support and protect families. That is why there’s an tax advantage for married couples: to prepare, economically, for children and later enable them to have one person (mostly women, obviously, because people who hate gays often overlap with the “women need to take care of their kids, men don’t” crowd) taking care of said children.
So the shitty argument ran along those lines “gays don’t need to marry, because they can’t have children”. Which always was stupid to begin with, because they couldn’t adopt for that reason, as only married people could adopt 🙄.
The problem is that even encountering someone of a different lifestyle sets people off.
Like, I should be allowed to hold hands with my partners in public. If we want to wear cat ears or dog collars or pronoun pins or pride flags, there’s nothing wrong with not hiding who we are.
That’s pretty different from asking you to participate in our kinks - but most straight people don’t seem to understand that.
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Because marriage and sex have historically been used by the church as a mechanism of control to perpetuate Christian hegemony.
Forbidding premarital sex, inter-race relations, and homosexuality makes oppressing people much easier.
Do I have to do anything? No? Well knock yourself out!
I’m in a very much same boat with you on this one. My phrasing is slightly different, but the idea is the very same, if I’m not participating in any way on what you’re doing then go and have fun.
And I’m going to stand between you, gay or straight or whatever, and the individual trying to stop you.
Sex criminals. Completely incurable… I suppose you could outlaw religion and these sex crimes would disappear in a generation or two, but we don’t have time for rational solutions. - George Carlin
In 2026, an adult in the USA being homophobic or opposed to gay marriage is simply willfully ignorant. It’s not some belief they innocently acquired and never really considered it any further, it’s a specific and intentional choice. Obviously, it’s probably always been that way, but all I know for sure is that this day and age, it’s definitely willful ignorance.
A lot of religion and Bible Belt people are anti-gay and there’s millions and millions of them….
They know.
Sure there are useful idiots in the general population, but those in power (overall) are fully aware that gay marriage is not a threat to “the traditional family”.
They use it as a wedge issue. They use it because the bigots in this country respond to it. They use it because they see it as a tool for accruing power.
Fascists need an enemy, so what better groups to other than the ones that have been on the fringes of society since the dawn of man?
Don’t let them convince you that they just don’t understand. They do, and they will harm lgbtq people anyway because they are filth who will do anything they can to stay on top of the pile.
75% of the right wingers I met are either on at least their second marriage or have cheated on their spouse more than once.
But 2 dudes is what they say are ruining the institution of marriage
It’s important to be aware of the fact that hypocrisy is a feature not a bug for the fascist.
The entire point is to make a system that prioritizes the rights of the in-group at the expense of the out-group. Selectively enforceable laws and norms are preferable. Vague laws and standards are prefered so they can be selectively enforced.
When the supreme court comes out with a non-sensical ruling, its not because they are stupid, it’s because they are trying to build the hypocrisy and selective enforement into the foundation of the system.
Forget trying to make them see the hypocrisy, it’s pointless. We know it’s hypocritical, and they don’t care.
How about we just force them to have gay sex? About half of them will hate us and want everyone on their political left to die, so no changes there. And the other half, you know.
I mean, whats the worst that could happen that literally isn’t happening already. I can tell you with full confidence that would sway more conservatives than Newsom promising tax cuts for small business owners.
This is addressed to the type of person that votes for rapists and cares more about other people’s lives than their own.
But… But… I can still sleep with him, right? He said that wouldn’t be gay, only marrying him would be gay. Right? He said it was in the Bible!
“Yes, homo” he says after finishing inside of you.
nooooooooo
My take on this is:
You (homophobes) don’t have to have a gay wedding.
You don’t have to attend a gay wedding.
So why do you need to complain about gay weddings? The number of people who fight against something that completely doesn’t affect them and/or is entirely optional is crazy. Even if your “beliefs” say X is unacceptable that’s a guideline for you not everyone else!
Nice try, wedding planner.
