• cannedtuna@lemmy.world
    shield
    M
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    55
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    2 days ago

    Locking this post as it’s drawing the type of people it’s about like flies to vinegar.

  • Omnipitaph@reddthat.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 days ago

    I hate sweeping statements in general. I don’t like it when people make general statements about women, men, insert race here. Its dehumanizing. We’re all just people.

    The “sometimes” is totally accurate in this comic though.

    I haven’t met many people that don’t have a fragile ego, honestly. Criticism is hard :/

  • taiyang@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 days ago

    On the one hand, yeah. Fragile ass mother fuckers.

    On the other hand? You do learn in gender studies that toxic masculine and such is a systemic problem. Boys need hugs and love growing up that they just don’t get, and it produces these soft skinned psychopaths who perpetuate that cycle.

    But this is a comics community so it’s fine however you want to interpret it for lols. Lol

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      2 days ago

      My kiddo gets so many hugs lol. It would be hypocritical to be aware of the issues that patriarchy brings and then turn around and let boys fend for themselves. They need support in this dogshit gendered society in addition to girls.

      I will hold grown ass men accountable for their actions and unwillingness to do the emotional labor to become a good person though.

  • piranhaconda@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    40
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 days ago

    I was never vocal about it but used to be somewhat a “not all men” type of person in my early 20s. At least in my head.

    Then I got diagnosed with autism. Turns out I just don’t understand most other men.

    • audaxdreik@pawb.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      23
      ·
      2 days ago

      I honestly thinks that’s just a part of it; realizing that you don’t have an allegiance to other men just because you’re a man yourself.

      I think if woman are willing to talk about men in that way in front of you, it’s generally a sign that they trust you enough to be open about their concerns in front of you without you having to push back. I try to hear the concerns they’re voicing, do a quick internal check (is this me?) and if it’s not, yeah fuck those guys! They’re the worst!

      • beegnyoshi@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 days ago

        Hmm, I’m personally not sure whether I’d call it an allegiance. As far as I’ve seen, it’s mostly about belonging to the group being talked about.

        For instance, in the context of the comic “Men’s egos can sometimes be fragile” would be parsed as “Your ego can sometimes be fragile” leading to an unconscious feeling of being attacked, which ultimately ends up in an emotional defensive response of trying to separate oneself from the group being talked about (“Not all men!”) which, ironically, in this comic’s context, only confirms what’s being said.

        This is also how I personally parse that woman and the bear thing. Men see themselves as the “random man” and feel personally attacked when someone picks the bear. Emotional defensive responses ensue.

        Nevertheless, I still like the way you phrased it. And asking oneself whether one is what’s being talked about might be a great way to dampen the unconcious response.

        • prettybunnys@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          2 days ago

          The other side of this is that it’s othering a group and yeah it seems cool to other a group that historically and generally has all the power, so it’s “punching up”

          its still othering and almost bait by design.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            2 days ago

            “Sometimes men’s egos can be fragile” does not mean that all men’s egos are fragile.

      • piranhaconda@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        2 days ago

        Yea I eventually learned how to not get offended by the generalizations, prior to the diagnosis, but the whole “taking it literally” thing took a bit to get over

        • TheRealKuni@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          2 days ago

          Honestly it still bothers me. We are told that generalizations and stereotypes are bad, but when they’re directed and white people or men, they’re okay.

          Listen, I’m not a #NotAllMen type or anything, but it is a frustrating double standard for those of us who’ve grown up knowing not to stereotype or generalize to then get stereotyped and generalized and be told we can’t complain about it.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            6
            ·
            2 days ago

            If you’re not the type to generalize or stereotype, then the comic is not talking about you.

            It’s not generalizing all men. Just men whose egos are fragile enough to be offended when this type of interaction is pointed out.

            • TheRealKuni@piefed.social
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              2 days ago

              I’m aware. Like I said, I’m not a #NotAllMen type. I’m not offended by this comic in the slightest. I laughed at it.

              I mean that generally, the double standard can be frustrating. It’s generally okay on the Internet to shit on men and then say, “yeah but I don’t mean you, you’re one of the good ones.” But I’ve learned my whole life that that’s a shitty thing to do.

              I’m not offended, I’m not upset.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                arrow-down
                4
                ·
                2 days ago

                This comic is not shitting on men. It’s shitting on men who have fragile egos.

                I didn’t claim you were upset or offended.

                • TheRealKuni@piefed.social
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  ·
                  2 days ago

                  I’m not sure why you keep talking about the comic. I wasn’t responding to the comic. I was responding to someone talking more broadly about generalization of men. The “honestly it bothers me” didn’t refer to the comic.

            • Pixel_Jock_17@piefed.ca
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              2 days ago

              It definitely is generalizing all men by the sentence structure, sometimes “men’s”, which men? Oh just “men” in general.

              But otherwise yeah, 100% “some” men’s egos are fragile. Its generalized because it doesn’t make a case to isolate a sub-group of men.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                arrow-down
                2
                ·
                2 days ago

                Which men? Men whose egos are fragile. You can acknowledge that some men are like that without being one of them yourself.

    • BlindPenguin@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 days ago

      Then I got diagnosed with autism. Turns out I just don’t understand most other men.

      I was diagnosed with “autistic features” back in the 90s, and i feel that.

  • Bubs@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 days ago

    I’ve never liked these kinds of attitudes, both against men and women. From the “wife bad” boomer mindset to the toxic “all men are pigs” that I hear people say way too often.

    People are people. When it comes to the people I care about, I don’t care what you identify as. I don’t care what society thinks your “role” should be. You are a person just like I am. I’ll treat you the same as I do any other person I care about, because that’s what you deserve.

    I’ll see you as the individual you are instead of these useless preconceived notions based purely on what bits you have in your pants.

  • Bgugi@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 days ago

    Everyone who agrees with me proves I’m right. Everyone who disagrees with me proves I’m right.

  • Wren@lemmy.today
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 days ago

    I can’t wait to see all the people from the comic in this comment section.

  • Tiral@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 days ago

    No, they can be. The problem is as a man as soon as you show any signs of it you’re made fun of by women and not desirable. There’s a reason guys always say “I’m fine” when asked how they feel, it’s because some woman made fun of them an degraded them when they were honest and they learned their lesson.

    • Wren@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      2 days ago

      Oh what a hot take. “It’s women’s fault men are sad.”

  • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    2 days ago

    Back in college a roommate’s girlfriend came over and cooked for us out of the blue. It wasn’t great and she scratched my other roommate’s brand new Teflon cookware with metal utensils.

    We politely said it was good and thanked her.

    Half an hour later, roommate #1 was berating us because his girlfriend was in tears because roommate #2 and I were insufficiently effusive in our praise of her cooking.

      • Soulg@ani.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        2 days ago

        Women also have fragile egos and it’s a weird unnecessary thing to gender for rage bait

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          10
          ·
          2 days ago

          And it is also true that some men have fragile egos.

          Those type of men love to “well actually” just like you did here.

          • whereitsat@lemmy.zip
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            5
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 days ago

            all the anti-men shit is annoying because it’s not just dragging men but holding women up on some pedestal that they don’t deserve to be on. yeah, we fucking get it already–men suck. women are awful too.

            it’s all just internet posturing anyway. i’ve been alive long enough to know that women act exactly the same as they did 25 years ago. they talk hard online but IRL they’ll still hook up with a raunchy, abusive man just because he has a good job lol.

        • Wren@lemmy.today
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          5
          ·
          2 days ago

          It’s about individuals feeling attacked by a private statement not directed at them, ironically making it about them by reacting.

          • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            9
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 days ago

            “Private statement not directed at them” — the characters are in public, making misandrist comments about the people who respond.

            And it’s an obvious allegory for public online posts.

            Yet again, flip the genders. If men make misogynistic comments in public, should they be immune from even the slightest pushback?

            No. Sexism is bad regardless of who is doing the sexism, who they’re saying it to, or who can hear it.

            But the OP is rage bait and a lazy Kafka trap, so I won’t feed the trolls any further. You’re welcome to have the last word.

            • Wren@lemmy.today
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              7
              ·
              2 days ago

              Sexism is bad. This isn’t sexism. It’s not misandrist in any way.

              It’s about life, because the character looks around first to make sure they’re alone before speaking, because they’ve learned to anticipate the reactions of men with fragile egos. The character also says “sometimes,” which is not a generalization.

              There is nothing wrong with men sharing private conversations about their experiences, but they don’t get challenged as often as women do. Thus, the comic.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              0
              arrow-down
              6
              ·
              2 days ago

              Is it misandrist to correctly identify that some men react to women talking in this way?

  • shweddy@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    arrow-down
    5
    ·
    2 days ago

    The patriarchy isn’t gonna like this

    We should change toxic masculinity to fragile masculinity cuz thats what it really is

    • TheRtRevKaiser@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 days ago

      I’ve definitely seen similar discussions around race use the term “white fragility” in a very similar way when you try to talk about things like unconscious or systemic racism or privilege.

      • a_jeering_serpent@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 days ago

        Move over Fragile X Syndrome, and make room for Fragile Guy Syndrome. Commonly referred to as The Bitching Disease, look out for the especially virulent subtype Angry White Syndrome which has been known to spread even to those without the Y chromosome and is believed to be caused by a lack of rhythm and a bland palatte.

      • AlfalFaFail@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 days ago

        Do you think that the toxicity is an overcompensated reaction to the realization of fragility?