It’s very easy to justify your opinions when, if someone tries to take a counter position, “Oh, I didn’t mean that situation so I’m still right”.
The problem with this isn’t that they’re saying that problems exist… it’s that it’s so simplistic and overly-broad that it attacks broadly without ever aiming at anyone. You can just say “I wasn’t aiming for you” without ever specifying specifically what you did mean that anyone trying to bring context or have an actual discussion about the problem (and thus find a way to make things better) can be seen as just being argumentative and part of that “toxic masculinity”.
Talking about it and trying to find root causes, and maybe a way to fix the issue, is not perpetuating this problem. Whining about it then shutting anyone down who does the former is perpetuating it. All it does is breed divisiveness and tribalism.
I have no patience for men who barge into a women’s conversation with “well actually” - it’s not my job to drop everything and find the root causes for why they’re acting this way or to help them feel validated because they got their ego wounded when two women were existing without acknowledging their presence.
Men with fragile egos can do the work to become better without women hand-holding them. Better yet, more stable and secure men can step in and help their brothers rein it in.
It’s very easy to justify your opinions when, if someone tries to take a counter position, “Oh, I didn’t mean that situation so I’m still right”.
The problem with this isn’t that they’re saying that problems exist… it’s that it’s so simplistic and overly-broad that it attacks broadly without ever aiming at anyone. You can just say “I wasn’t aiming for you” without ever specifying specifically what you did mean that anyone trying to bring context or have an actual discussion about the problem (and thus find a way to make things better) can be seen as just being argumentative and part of that “toxic masculinity”.
Talking about it and trying to find root causes, and maybe a way to fix the issue, is not perpetuating this problem. Whining about it then shutting anyone down who does the former is perpetuating it. All it does is breed divisiveness and tribalism.
I have no patience for men who barge into a women’s conversation with “well actually” - it’s not my job to drop everything and find the root causes for why they’re acting this way or to help them feel validated because they got their ego wounded when two women were existing without acknowledging their presence.
Men with fragile egos can do the work to become better without women hand-holding them. Better yet, more stable and secure men can step in and help their brothers rein it in.