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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • At first, my anxieties became present to me, so I could work on them. Weed makes me think about my life, about things that bother me deep inside. It made me do further investigations. I had (to a point still have) to reprocess my life. It turned out, I’m traumatized because of people constantly refusing or bullying me in my past, because I never fitted in. And I had no clue, why.

    I used to keep distance to people and be a loner, until recently. Weed broke up some of these habits. I got my feelings back, after I used to refuse showing any emotion.

    I also learned, I have issues listening. I often changed my mind spontaneously without noticing - now I do notice and I learned to self-regulate better. I also didn’t know noise (the overwhelm of too many sounds or voices) overloads my senses, and that’s what triggers my aggressive behaviour or let me run away sometimes.

    Since I started smoking, I do easier meet people who understand me. That’s also when someone at a party suggested I look 100% like having ADHD and I should do the test.

    I also noticed another effect when microdosing at work: It helps me focus and it temporarily brings back the energy when being exhausted from work. (This depends on the strain, of course. Amnesia or White Widow work great here). However, this comes with the risk of burning myself out, so I do it only when necessary.





  • I had been masking all my life until recently. Now I tend to unmask, even in situations where people don’t tolerate my real self. Like in my recent job interviews. I learned it’s better to be weak m unfitting in the eyes of others, than bending myself. If they cannot handle me, they shall go away - I’m not dependent do them.