And even if the 240 million laptops were all 24" ultra wide behemoths, that’s still only ~146,304 km; not even half the average distance to the moon.
I wouldn’t even call the article hyperbole, but if we take the author in good faith, then they’re just terrible at math.
The viewing options OP listed should all work with AV1, I think they were just worried by the preset names. Plus, hardware support should only get better.
OP, you should be able to adjust settings after you select a preset, so you can pick different dimensions/frame rates/audio codecs/etc.
Side note, I’ve found that the matroska container is the easiest one for me to use if I want better subtitle support.