Cambozola
Chicken flavored pet vitamins are up there… probably buttermilk though
Taste? Probably expired milk. I didn’t sniff check as a kid. A mistake you only make once.
Most disturbing to me even though it tasted okay? I had one of those cardboard cartons lined internally with plastic/aluminium so you couldn’t see inside. Well within best by date. I poured a glass, chugged it. Hot summer day. Decided, eh, a little more why not. A giant gloopy growth plopped out into my glass. I retched.
Mother of Vinegar I assumed? Not sure.
My girlfriend-at-the-time’s dirty, dirty ass. Thought it would be like in my fantasies, where it tastes like candyfloss and smells like a Yankee candle. Nope. Shit. Just shit.
If you’re curious, shit tastes exactly as it smells. I wish I didn’t know that. Although I’m happy that now you, too, know that.
And she had the nerve to dump me later. I deserve a Nobel peace prize for not recoiling in horror and instead just powering through in silence like a fucking GENTLEMAN.
On the bright side, it became a great way to ensure future partners were cognisant of the issue. I’d drop it into the usual “what was your ex like?” gossip sessions that come with new relationships. It’s like saying “please wash your various holes if I’m gonna go rooting around in them like an ant-fiending aardvark” without actually saying it. A cautionary fable from days of yore to guide the next generation.
P.S. I’m still pro-anilingus. Just… clean the fuckin’ thing first. I don’t need to be picking dingleberries from between my teeth, thanks.
I got some of that pre period goop in me once. I would say that turnabout was fair play for a dude but I don’t like blowies so I just got gooped for nuthin
Yeah I fuckin swallowed it, I’m not bitch made
I’ve been on crutches more than once, so pick an item.
Slug.
When I was small I left my kazoo outside in the yard, and then when I went to play it the next day, I learned the hard way what slugs taste like.
They’re bitter.
Natto. Japanese fermented bean paste. Slimy and tastes like rotten cabbage.
Live ants.
This was 30 years ago. I lived on the second floor of an apartment. I left a half-eaten bag of Little Debbie chocolate donuts on the floor next to my bed. The next night, in a dark room, watching David Letterman, I remembered and reached for the bag. I was three donuts in before I noticed the slightly strange taste, and the ant crawling on my face.
Ants taste a bit sour and bitter.
Well duh. You didn’t cook em first
A particular man’s penis. I realized too late that he didn’t routinely clean under his foreskin.
I too, am familiar with OP’s mom.
Was it like parmesan or…?
Or more of a cottage cheese?
Fromunda cheese they call it.
Parmeeeseeian?
Piss and stagnant sweat and more.
I don’t know if I ever would have gotten circumcised if it was my own choice, but one thing I’m glad for is it’s damn easy to keep clean.
It’s also pretty damn easy if you’re not circumcised
Gasoline. Had to siphon, did it wrong, mouthful of gas.
Cat treat. Ate it on a dare. It was fucking foul. 0/10.
I used to work in a pet food store and tried a bunch of treat samples we had. They’re not very good if you aren’t a dog or a cat, turns out
I remember a food chemist telling me that one of their hardest problems was making things that smell and taste good to dogs and cats, but didn’t smell too gross for the humans.
There are posh producers who do 100% freeze dried meat pet food and treats. Even so, probably not something you want or need in your body.
my foreskin. at least I think it was my foreskin… could have been someone else’s.
An oyster
The town I grew up in is famous for them, we even learned about them in school but I’d never tried one
Finally decided to just before I moved away for university and eugh, salty mucus-y blob, had to spit it out again, poor lil guy
I adore oysters. You could have spat it out into my mouth and I would have eaten it.
Is this a service you offer for free?
For the price of admission and a belly full of oysters.
Only way I eat them is fried. Still not my favorite and kinda weird, but much less slimy.
One time I got the bright idea to siphon the water out of my ~50gal aquatic turtle tank for some long overdue cleaning. I anchored one end of a water hose at the bottom of the tank and strung the other end out into the yard and proceeded to start the siphoning process with my mouth. Got force fed a giant gulp of whatever got sucked off the bottom of the tank.
I’ve put some nasty shit in my mouth since then and nothing comes close.
For future reference you can siphon from a tank very easily by just filling up the tube inside the tank and then capping it with your thumb
