Bit of a shower thought: Outside of limited circumstances, like interviews or therapy, nobody is really expected to give you honest feedback on how you come across.

This sucks. I’ve been told I come across as unfriendly once, but I have no idea if I was just nervous and tired at the time. I still cherish that one moment almost 10 years ago when someone told me I was funny in some corporate team building bs.

Now, I could ask friends and family, but I believe they would probably not tell me the full, honest truth. After all, they (hopefully) like me and I would probably avoid being too harsh to everyone but very close people in private.

At the same time, I know plenty of people who really should get some feedback, who probably believe they are funny while everyone is bored and annoyed and hopes they talk a little less and the like.

So, are there socially accepted ways to get feedback on how you come across?

I realize that people are strange, relationships are hard, P!=NP and anime is not real. Still, it would be nice to have.

  • Mountainaire@lemmy.world
    1·
    1 day ago

    So, if what I say is stupid, a random anonymous stranger is more likely to tell me than a friend.

    Ohhhhh. See, I was making a specific distinction between in-person strangers versus online strangers. In person is a lot trickier to get rude over, so I had meant that those such people will try to be polite and downplay stuff (on average, anyway; I know there are Karens). Contrast that with people online and, because we feel safe via the guise of anonymity, we’ll brutally say whatever the @#$% we want, hahaha!

    However, I still think a mature friend in person is best. The friend you asked is not mature if they’re not giving an accurate portrayal of the situation (that they should already have had info on/the experience of).