Posting this because I can’t really talk to my family or whatever. I have one main friend but I don’t think she cares on a deeper level so it always just feels like I’m alone. Who do you guys turn to for help? It’s always been a struggle for me, it’s like no one is really there. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again and I’m not contempt with my own thoughts and it’s hard for me to get over it. I’m not sure if I’m just depressed and I’m so good at hiding it or I’m just so numb to everything. I forget so much of my past and it’s so hard for me to sit with myself and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I just lost something so good in my life because I made a big mistake and that’s also something I won’t get over. I can’t win things back and it’s sad to accept reality of things. Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to
Forgetfulness can be tied to both PTSD and neuro divergency. The brain is a complicated thing. It certainly sounds like the trauma you experienced from your arguments and treatment from your father could be a possibility for why you are feeling this way. I am no mental health expert for sure but I have worked in emergency medicine extensively and experienced these things in my own life.
It’s a tough world and the chaos that surrounds us now will weigh heavily in those with any form of mental illness or distress. Please just know you aren’t alone. There are many of us out here experiencing the same things and some of us have even managed these feelings and thrived within our own lives.
Yea I’m assuming that’s what it is to be honest. I forget so much but I know I went through much u know. It sucks so much. I’m not sure about neuro divergence but I’m going to look more into it. I’m scared I won’t be able to get over it. I don’t want to live in fear from the ones who are suppose to love me and vice versa. I can’t even maintain eye contact properly with people anymore and I feel like I’m always sorry or saying sorry to people and it’s so draining to me. I just want a break. Like I wanna be gone but not in that way. Just like gone from everything
Please don’t wait for the appointment. Push it. See doctors until someone takes you seriously. It’s a problem in our medical system across the nation that people with mental health problems often get ignored or forced to wait because it’s not seen as on par with physical medical distress. The feelings you are having and the fact you are reaching out is important. It’s a sign that it’s not ok for you no matter how much you try to normalize it in your own mind.
It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to be demanding for your own health benefit. No one will advocate for you except you when it comes to your health and mental well being. You can do this and it can get better. It doesn’t have to be like this for you.