Posting this because I can’t really talk to my family or whatever. I have one main friend but I don’t think she cares on a deeper level so it always just feels like I’m alone. Who do you guys turn to for help? It’s always been a struggle for me, it’s like no one is really there. It feels like I’m living the same day over and over again and I’m not contempt with my own thoughts and it’s hard for me to get over it. I’m not sure if I’m just depressed and I’m so good at hiding it or I’m just so numb to everything. I forget so much of my past and it’s so hard for me to sit with myself and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I just lost something so good in my life because I made a big mistake and that’s also something I won’t get over. I can’t win things back and it’s sad to accept reality of things. Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to
Please don’t wait for the appointment. Push it. See doctors until someone takes you seriously. It’s a problem in our medical system across the nation that people with mental health problems often get ignored or forced to wait because it’s not seen as on par with physical medical distress. The feelings you are having and the fact you are reaching out is important. It’s a sign that it’s not ok for you no matter how much you try to normalize it in your own mind.
It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to be demanding for your own health benefit. No one will advocate for you except you when it comes to your health and mental well being. You can do this and it can get better. It doesn’t have to be like this for you.