So, I am autistic, I dont really have friends except online, and i have a few other diagnoses like suspicion of schizophrenia and suspicion of psychosis. And, about once a year, I start walking down a hallway of insanity, ending in a big multiple day long paranoid attack- where I just lash our at someone and try to ruin their life because of some really insignificant thing. Last time I lashed out at someone because I misunderstood something, and I went down a paranoid spiral where I would try to ruin their life because I thought they wanted to ruin mine.
The time before I lashed out at someone and said that they were conspiring against me.
So, is there any way to prevent this? At least My therapist says I’m ok to go after the next few sessions. Also, I don’t want medication or go to a clinic.
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You can’t really therapy your way out of schizophrenia. Medication is a must. It is a long and painful process to find the right one but refusing to do so is a doomed venture.
It dosent really happen often enough to really affect my life (I can get used to hearing my name said sometimes by the air around me and people looking at me when they are laughing and that basic shit I have every day), so its really just about these moments when I go full out. Also, others can see symptoms of me starting to behave less normal, so isn’t it just possible to like take some pills that calm you down until I start feeling better?
To be honest, I’m pretty sure the hearing my name being said thing is just my bad hearing, and people laughing at me could just be my anxiety, so it may just be normal paranoia that I have that just builds up until I release it all on 1 person
From my understanding most of the pills you would take to calm you down take time to start working, like weeks to a month or more to fully do their work, so you can’t really take them in the manner that you are wanting.
I will say that I’m not expert by any means and I have have no first hand experience with the types of drugs used to treat the diagnosis you described, but I do read on such topics and have talked with friends that are on these sorts of medications about their experiences with them. So I’d defer to a doctor or other people with a similar history to yours if their experiences say different.
I suppose when considering taking medication that you have to weigh the negative side effects against the amount of negativity these outbursts cause you in the long run. Sadly, it’s also hard to say how any one medicine might effect you ahead of time, because these medicines are known to effect people quite differently even coming down to the exact dosage you might need vs what another person might need.
I hope you can find something that works for you, keep at it!
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“About once a year?”
And it sounds like right now you’re just out of the tail end of one of these once-per-year episodes?
If this isn’t already on your radar, I strongly suggest trying out a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) lamp.
I’m (pretty certain I’m) not autistic. And it’s possible the (arguably) somewhat similar episode I’ve had over the recent yule season was less severe than what you’re describing.
But I think I can at least somewhat relate. And I think a big part of what contributed to that problem for me was just not getting enough light in my eyeballs, particularly in the morning.
My technique (when I finally figured out SAD was a big part of my problem) was to put my SAD lamp right next to my bed pointing right at my head and turn it on when I first wake up in the morning and then go back to sleep with the light shining in my eyes.
Even if your issue is 100% SAD (and it sounds like that probably isn’t the case if you have “suspected schizophrenia”) a SAD lamp may not be enough. It couldn’t hurt to preemptively start regular appointments with a therapist starting in like… October or something every year anticipating a difficult season. Your GP might have some options for you as well.
Good luck. That kind of shit sucks.
Why do you try to ruin the lives of people who you think are trying to ruin your? Even if it were true, that is reckless and likely to back fire.
Why don’t people with schizophrenia just realise that the thing they’re thinking is not real? Then they wouldn’t need all that medication
I am saying that if someone is trying to ruin you, ruining them isn’t an effective response.
I think what they are maybe trying to convey is that when you’re lost in the throes of schizophrenia you aren’t exactly operating on valid logic so it’s hard to even realize that you are doing the things that you are doing. If that makes any sense.
