I have what I call the Feeling Things Meter. Meaning that in a certain period of time, about one to three days, I have a set amount of feelings I am allowed to feel. If I exceed the number of feelings and fill up the meter I blank out and get to feel nothing at all. I can feel the Meter filling up, and I know when I am about to exceed it.
This also applies to feelings from movies, shows, games books and music. So I have to carefully plan out my entertainment around life events as best I can.
As you can imagine it becomes incredibly hard to navigate adult life with no feelings. And not just the big feelings but the little ones too. No drive to go out and do the shopping. No satisfaction of completeing a task. No disappointment if I screw something up. Nothing.
No one else in my life has this, or anything close to it. Most people look at me like I’m a crazy person when I try to explain it. I’m always making excuses for not wanting to watch movies or shows with friends, or bailing when a sad song comes on.
Please, I just want to know someone else has this problem. Anyone. How do you cope? Do you even listen to music? Do you have to leave movies halfway through becuase you couldn’t take it?
I just want to know I’m not alone.
I don’t have a meter (that I know of) in the actual sense, but I call these days “low battery mode” and yes they do happen mostly if the couple days prior have been eventful in one way or another - whether stressful or blissful, that doesn’t even matter. On paticularily bad “low battery” days, I don’t even feel hunger/thirst and have to force myself to eat and drink the bare minimum. Literally everyhing is a slog for a while then, even things that I normally enjoy. It usually takes a day or two to get better on its own.
…and yes, trying to explain these things to someone who has never experienced the issue firsthand is very difficult. People usually assume I’m just feeling a bit down and need cheering up, not understanding that the things that normally would cheer me up do not have ANY effect at the moment, and that I’m not “feeling down” but don’t feel anything at all.
Sadly I haven’t found a good way to cope with the issue except for waiting it out until it goes away.
Yeah the fact it’s happy feelings too really baffles poeple. Like they think this only applies to negtive emotions.