This is something I’ve discovered about myself lately and I’m now trying to tackle, and hopefully start to dismantle.

I did a fuck up the other day and may have unintentionally offended someone (a combination of mental and sensory overload led to a louder than expected verbal outburst of frustration)

I’ve put out an apology and have asked for an accommodation to help with the sensory aspect, but I’m still churning inside and over thinking because of my shitty social and communication ‘skills’

Thanks for your comment, it sums things up ‘perfectly’ 🤣

This is going to be a long comment… 😀

All time favourite note is probably Jasmine, but not a nice fresh Jasmine, something a bit more indolic and sultry. Also I like Vanilla, but again not sweet, a proper vanilla pod scent with something mixed in to make it interesting (Mona di Orio has a beautiful Vanilla fragrance that also has boozy notes of Rum, Orange and Wood- she envisioned a trade ship carrying them as goods when creating it)

Also I love Labdanum, it helps to form the back bone of ‘Oriental’ perfumes. It lasts for ever and is deep and rich. Plus Mimosa, but so far only in Frederic Malles Une Fleur de Cassie- it is glorious with a underlying something. In a review someone said it was like a beautiful garden, full of flowers with a dead body buried in it! I think you can probably sense a theme that I don’t like pretty fragrance, I like something a bit dark and skanky…

I also love the smell of soil, CBIhatePerfume has a great one called Wild Hunt, it smells exactly like a resinous pine forest, complete with damp soil and mushrooms. He doesn’t create ‘normal’ perfumes, they’re more like entire sensory experiences that transport you elsewhere. Patchouli is another favourite, it’s grassy and slightly chocolatey too. Musks are another some can be gloriously filthy!

Favourite perfumes…? There are so many to choose from! I have probably around 100 different one by now, some are decants and large sample sizes (which makes it more affordable) others are full bottles purchased when the £ was stronger than the Euro, and before Brexit…

I have favourite perfume houses, including Frederic Malle (his perfumes are amazing and use quality ingredients and lots of natural oils), Serge Lutens (his fragrances tend to be dark and opulent- checkout his website for some French Gothic fun), Guerlain is a really old perfume house their La Art et La Matiere line is wonderful. Also Parfums d’Empire, Mona di Orio, Sonoma Scent Studio, Papillon Perumes… Chanel Exclusifs and some Dior

Me and the bf are intending to visit Paris soon, I can guarantee we will be our respects to Serge Lutens Boutique and Maison Guerlain!

edit…I forgot Rose, Ylang, Incense, Sandalwood, some Ouds…the list is endless

Also changed ‘les exclusifs’ to ‘La Art et La Matiere’

There are several active and very passionate communities online including Fragrantica and Basenotes…things can get incredibly nerdy when discussing perfume, believe it or not 😀

There’s also a fragrance community here on lemmy but I think it’s all but dead now…

As a perfume nerd I’d love to know what this smells like, and when it’ll be used to create a new niche fragrance

Totally agree…

I’ve been using mint for the last 4 years, and while I have had to use the command line for some obscure installs, it also works as an OS without needing to use it (i jumped in at the deep end and installed it in a pc I got from my brother and used it as my everyday OS)

I don’t understand why Mint isn’t the first suggestion for Linux ‘virgins’ switching over from Windows etc, it has everything you need pre installed plus the download manager for anything else

Linux has a flavour for everyone, and after a while when you’re confidence and skills grow there is the fun of using the command line and a bit of tinkering…or not, if you are happy with the ‘basics’

I don’t normally comment on news posts, but in this instance, FUCK CANCER

Fuck cancer for stealing my brother from me, and for taking half my bf’s lung

I seriously hopes this works for everyone out there living with this disease, and for their families, friends, the people who love them…

…and also for everyone who has died too soon and missed their chance for survival. Their donation of tissue samples and furthering the cancer research that ultimately wouldn’t help them, but will help the poor bastards that are diagnosed today and in the future…It is bitter sweet

Fuck cancer

I met my bf before I even suspected (and eventually diagnosed) as autistic. Now, he is likely to also be on the spectrum and a third party who has some expertise in this also agrees. I was attracted to him because he’s kind and gentle and patient (also physically attractive too) and didn’t fit into a ‘bloke’ stereotype (he’s very emotional and not afraid to show this)

I was attracted to him because he was happy being himself.

I think i have an autistic radar where I’ll make friendships with other neurodiverse people, because I feel more comfortable with ‘my people’

Now personality and spectrum wise we are dissimilar, I’m more logical and spock-like and crap at communicating (I’d probably be happy being semi verbal for the rest of my life), he’s all emotional, and talks and can handle people better.

Sensory wise I don’t like hugs, noises, the sun, fairground rides, I love perfumes and smells…he loves hugs, hates smells, loves sitting out in the sun really loves fairground rides…you get the idea

Our autism presents very differently and I struggle dealing with him at times and he does with me…I didn’t consciously think I want to have an autistic partner in life, we clash often, but we also come together and can stragegise our way through difficult people and situations using both our strengths

He pushes me (not in a bad way) to step outside my comfort zone so I do get to experience more things in life, and I do enjoy the fact that he can be very silly, and do odd things that make me laugh

I don’t think any relationship is easy, and a double autistic or NT/autistic and NT/NT relationships all have their unique issues and difficulties. I just think that having someone who loves and cares for you, not matter how stressed/meltdowned/shutdowned you are, and is patient enough not to be angry or demanding, or controlling, and just cares for you despite your own weird brain acting the way it does…

Apologies for any word salad, and a wordy comment 😀

That lady (the pensioner, not Thatcher) deserves either a rise in her state pension and/or a New Year honour, perhaps a Baroness…?

I like to fold paper receipts into pointy ends and use them to poke, stroke and generally pick at my fingers (usually my index), the good thing is that I can do it discretely in my pocket or under a table etc.

Foot tapping/bouncing too, and I also like to stroke my hair to remove dead strands and twirl the ends. Recently I’ve started to enjoy making a popping sound with my lips, but mainly when I’m alone as it’s audible

I also have resurrected my childhood/teenage/early 20’s blanket that I like to smell (I don’t know if that’s a stim exactly, but I enjoy sniffing it, and it feels comforting when I do this)

Here are mine…

Aloof: 5.67

Pragmatic Language: 4.25

Rigid: 5.17

SUPER AUTISM!!!

The ‘aloof’ description cracks me up- there’s a photo of me possibly 5 or 6 years of age with me looking ‘aloof’ (my mothers description). I look so not interested and ‘over it’…I’d actually post it here for a laugh, but I’d rather remain anonymous

HOW THE FUCK WAS IT NOT PICKED UP ON???

Oh I forget, I’m a woman and I slip under the radar 🤣

edit ‘years of age’

…every art-specific room I came across had a designated space or exit to airdry/safely paint spray…

…plus the ubiquitous, 10 foot tall cheese plant

‘on some level most social interactions feel like performances where any misstep could mean ridicule or rejection’

yep, that one hit hard

‘flying frogs’ and ‘random items I’d been told to bring and make a story with them’ I had these on my test!

Congrats and welcome to the ‘club’

It may take some time to digest it all, and I had a period of being slightly angry wondering how different my life may have been if I’d known earlier (I wasn’t diagnosed until my late 40’s). I think I have a better grasp on my difficulties, like sensory overload/meltdowns and understanding why I have problems socially and with communication. I’m still working things out

Good luck on your journey!

I met an autistic woman (same age, late 40’s) and watched the Chris Packham documentary. I then began to research heavily into my new (special) interest, read how women present differently than men, did a few of those online tests, and then went to my GP to ask for a referral, which led to my official diagnosis

I think that I’ve always felt ‘other’ and never fitted in despite trying (masking) and also the fact that everyone I’ve run into conflict with has always said my communication (verbal) is poor, and that socially I’m either a bit ‘weird’ or introvert/loner etc, but also I don’t really want to fit into the ‘norm’ because it feels fake, and stupid, and I feel like an alien anyway

Since then, I realise that my dad is definitely autistic (loves trains and his interests haven’t changed since he was a child), friends I have/had, as well as the people I gravitate towards are also probably autistic. I’m fairly certain my boyfriend is (he is also convinced), and I look at my mother and also wonder…hmmmm

Every difficulty I’ve ever had including anxiety, problems interacting with others, depression, general stubbornness, weird moodiness that comes on for ‘no reason’ (basically misinterpreted sensory overload causing shutdowns/meltdowns), being bullied at every educational level plus work is me trying to mask my autism and fit in, while failing miserably…

It was a huge relief to read about autism in women, and know that ‘these are my people’ and I’m actually a just an autistic person :)

I also want to add, this is my first interaction with this community, although I’ve really enjoyed all the memes, some had me laughing my head off. I used to lurk and occasionally comment on some of the female autism subs on reddit, so I’m glad this place exists here, it’s got a good vibe!