it's not often that shit just works

It was a thing - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doping_in_East_Germany

Perhaps something like

https://www.tutorialspoint.com/unix/index.htm

https://www.tutorialspoint.com/unix/unix-getting-started.htm

Appears that “squabbles” is still alive

https://squabblr.co/

One anecdotal data point to consider… They might be really loud.

I am running a few 3TB drives that were formerly enterprise SAN drives, cleaned and sold for cheap. They work just fine (we won’t talk about game loading times here), but they are very audible clacking away when the head seeks.

Hitachi Ultrastar 7K4000 HUS724030ALE641 3TB 64MB cache Internal Hard Drive

Australia was like "WTF, mate? "