That’s fair!

I’m a pedant! I’ll admit it!

I watched the Director’s cut. It is a ridiculous movie lol

Sorry but the Hollywoodisms and bad history aside, it is also just orientalist as all hell and I will hold the movie’s pretense of being a historical movie against it when it is so deeply revisionist

A movie I did really enjoy was Waterloo for example. There are plenty of movies where I can forgive some artistic license. Hell, I like Chernobyl even though yes, that is also revisionist, but I understand the choices that were made. For Kingdom of Heaven though, it’s clear Ridley Scott did what he is known for: putting a hatchet to real stories and chopping them down until there’s nothing left.

I have seen so much praise for Kingdom of Heaven and all I did was laugh or yell at it, usually both. It’s so bad. So, so bad.

I’m sorry, you’re telling me they built siege towers in the middle of the desert. Where did they get the wood??? And there’s like 12 of them? And you aimed a Ballista and that took down every single one of them in one swoop? ALSO YOU ARE A SMITH APPRENTICE BUT YOU KNOW SIEGE TACTICS? AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT DESERT IRRIGATION WHEN YOU ARE FROM FUCKING ENGLAND? AND

I’m yelling again

And that’s not to mention how deeply historically inaccurate it is at moments, like even besides all the general Hollywood of it all. Like sure they get some moments right but generally, holy shit it’s bad lol

Though I will say watching Will Turner learn sword fighting from Qui-Gon only to be interrupted by Jaime Lannister was pretty funny

It started out a lot funnier and slowly became darker over time. I think I remember Gilligan saying this was a conscious choice, to grow darker in tone over time.

Anyway, that’s what hooked a lot of people initially, and a lot of them stuck around for the drama that followed

Genuinely though the Talking Pillow scene is still my favorite. As someone who lost a dad to cancer the conversation was morbidly funny and real to me, with the pillow as a perfect set piece.

Labour doing Labour things

‘We have a new guy now! Hooray!’

‘Does the new guy also suck?’

‘YES!’

Any missile fired has to come down eventually

So

They’re kind of bombing their own capitol