Zaros

Love forests! Apart from the mosquitoes…

I suppose I still do it in some sense. If I have a lot of muscle tension built up or am otherwise starting to get a headache/migraine. I just lie down in bed, and focus on breathing until my body enters that sleep state where it completely relaxes and doesn’t respond to my commands. Like a nice nap, but without actually falling asleep (much faster, no grogginess). Or like sleep paralysis, but without the demons. ;D

I also tried meditation to focus on the subconscious stream of thoughts, which was extremely fascinating. But I had to stop after a week or so since I started to become aware of it even when not meditating, which felt like someone constantly whispering in my ears and it was quite maddening. I would still recommend giving it a try though. Becoming aware of some subconscious thought chains/loops, especially the negative ones, and learning to cut them short had a huge impact on my mental well-being.

One cool thing about remembering dreams you’ve had is that some stories might turn into storylines. For the past few years there has been a dream story going on in my sleep. Every now and then randomly there’s another dream that either continues or relates to that story. It’s pretty fun, like following an interesting TV show and waiting for new episodes!

I have dreams every single night, and remember at least one of them once I wake up. Always have. Only exceptions are when I’m extremely tired or when I drink chamomile tea before bed. Found out about the latter last summer, and it admittedly kind of freaked me out; not having/remembering dreams is just… weird.

I suppose I’m on the opposite side of visualization spectrum. I can easily conjure images so realistic and detailed that they pass for the real thing. I can also add texture, smells, temperature, sound, etc. but I can’t fake weight or pure white color which for some reason always turns out somewhat grey or beige.

I don’t think much in words however, most of my thoughts are in images and sensations. Which does make verbal communication somewhat challenging at times.

Sometimes the realism of visualization worries me somewhat. Many mental processes have a tendency to get a bit out of conscious control, and it would be quite troublesome to no longer know which of the things I see are actually real. On the plus side, I can visualize paintings on my walls, without actually buying any! I like having no decorations in my home, which seems to confuse people. Perhaps I should start comparing it to a blank canvas…

I don’t have trouble listening to someone while doing something else, but speaking is a different problem. Then again, I’m quite bad in multitasking in general.

I had an interesting conversation related to this with a friend of mine a while back. Apparently she usually thinks mostly in words, while I think in more abstract sensations or images. (summer = dark green color + feeling of warm sunlight and warm wind) All she has to do to talk is say her thoughts outloud, while I have to first translate them into words and sentences before I can even open my mouth.

If you want something to tinker with on PC, you could try creating your own website from scratch. (neocities.org could be a good place to start) It can be a nice gateway to learning all kinds of things, from image editing to running a server, depending on what you want on the website and how you decide to run it. You could combine the website tinkering with short stories if you wish to write them. Or photography. Poetry. Anything, really. Whatever you put on the site is also very easy to share with others of course.

I know it kind of goes against trouble with learning and not trusting online activities, but I thought it was worth mentioning anyways. I’ve accidentally spent several summers on it without really even realizing. My interest keeps jumping from one thing to another as I get new ideas for things I want to do with the site.

I used to have this problem until I realized that pretty much none of the obligations are really obligatory. Now I have a new, different set of problems instead.

Reading through the responses you’ve got so far has been quite interesting. Plenty of good advice, and some I don’t agree with. I’d also point out that gender does factor in, since kids usually form their groups around gender and those groups seem to operate under different sets of rules. Everything I say is from my experience with the male dominant groups, as well as assuming we aren’t talking about bullying that includes physical violence.

I’d advice not to throw a tantrum or completely ignore them either. Former is exactly what bullies want, and latter allows them to run the show. I saw someone advice a surprising reaction, and I agree with that approach, as it messes their script. But it has to be surprising in a way that doesn’t imply they got to you. One could try laughing with them or agreeing with something negative they said about you and compliment them in turn (when it can be done truthfully). Claiming that they are boring you also sounds like an interesting method, but I haven’t tested that one myself.

I’ve personally also found being curious to be an effective tactic, especially around your age when the kids in general start to question things. For me curiously asking about their motivations for their behavior (“Why do you think you feel the need to bully others?”) and such often resulted in them either starting to question their behavior themselves, or avoiding me to avoid the questions. I suppose they didn’t like being treated like a curiosity or a strange research subject very appealing either. One could also use insecurities of the bullies in one’s advantage with this method, as those are usually easy enough to figure out… but that could backfire should one be too confrontational.

Something I’d caution against is direct confrontation, but it can sometimes work if you’re sure you can win that exchange and the ones that will follow. If not, it might just make the situation worse as a win like that is a gourmet meal to bullies and they’ll want more.

Unfortunately, the things you or any outsiders like teachers (if they bother to try) can do to stop bullying is quite limited, and very much dependent on your exact situation. Most effective method by far seems to be the group in which the bullies are in (or one they respect) to turn against them, disapproving their behavior or starting to exclude them when they do bully. That probably won’t help you right now, but keep that in mind if you end up part of a group where someone tries to elevate themselves by bullying. Then you might get a chance to save someone else from being bullied.

Wait, what would similar reaction actually be? Would they send 100 000 women to Sweden?