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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • Yeah, a lot of that. If you gave me 5 tasks in a row I’d remember maybe the last 2 and wouldnt even remember there were more tasks. Now my memory is noticeably a lot better. I usually remember what I came back to my room to grab now. It’s very different from what I dealt with before…

    Of course I do recommend writing down work tasks and stuff when you can - it helps supplement and cover for the bits you still end up forgetting.


  • Like mentioned by others, the emotional regulation is a good result from your current medication. Is your psych recommending you switch to another medication?

    I’m on antidepressants for my ADHD so the experience is likely slightly different, but being on ritalin solely at the beginning occasionally sent me into a focused spiral into very unhappy feelings that seemed even more consuming than usual. Then I switched to generic wellbutrin, which wasn’t for long but gave me insomnia.

    Currently on Pristiq now and I and my partner have noted significant improvements in my short term memory and emotional regulation. Maybe your psych thinks there’s something that can address more than one symptom? Hope it works out for you.


  • I appreciate it. I have inattentive type ADHD (also, I think ADD is now nested under the ADHD umbrella), based on what I’ve experienced so far.

    I’m not sure where I fall on the severity scale, to be honest. On one hand, I made it out of education with a 2nd upper class degree in humanities.

    On the other, I can’t drive long distances (1h+) unsupervised and unmedicated because there’s a significant risk that I’ll just shut down in the driver’s seat and crash my car, even if I’m smacking my face and trying everything to maintain wakefulness. I can’t help it, and thankfully so far it’s only happened when I’ve been able to pull over and swap drivers or rest.



  • I’m sort of on my last legs at this current job due to an accumulation of mistakes that could be attributed to ADHD behaviour. I hate using it as an excuse, but it colors so much of my behaviour. I don’t ever mean to make mistakes, and so much of them at that…

    I have disclosed up my diagnosis to my boss to really try and improve my performance and work within my actual ability, and wrote my boss an email asking for accommodations. The follow up call was basically “You need to focus to do your job here” and “I understand you have been diagnosed, but this should not hinder your ability to do your job”.

    I’ve been asked to submit my request for accommodations in writing, so it’s not like they’re completely against it. But I don’t trust that they actually understand the impact ADHD has always had on my ability to perform consistently at work and will be understanding of any missteps, even though I am trying to actively prove that I’m trying with medication and coping mechanisms.

    I do have upsides. I work very well in crisis and urgent situations, though the sustained elevated stress leaves much to be desired.



  • This exact thing has bitten me so many times!!

    I’ll open an email, maybe not pick up on the need to action (especially if multiple people are required to action on things), and then my boss gets to hear about my lack of follow up.

    I’ve tried to keep a list, like I’m working on individual work tickets which has helped, but even then I still miss a couple of items.


  • On hindsight, I do feel a bit silly about being so upset over a job. I left my previous because the workload escalated to too much, but in the current I was trying to stay, but I’ve made mistakes that have impacted business, according to my boss. I really liked the culture, but I think the writing is on the wall now.

    In my performance management document, it was just hard to read about the “obvious lack of care” and “lack of proactivity and initiative”. I feel like I’m always struggling to keep my work in a row, to where I’m just tired and don’t have the energy to really ideate or something.

    I’ve been started on some non-stimulants, but the psychiatrist said it might take a while to take effect. I’ll probably be more diligent on following up there as well to try and get myself together a bit more. I also do go to the gym about once a week.

    It’s hard sometimes to see things not work out/fall apart, and the main common denominator is yourself.


  • Hm, it feels like I’m always expecting the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable collapse to happen. I’m always scared of that, and so far, despite best efforts, it’s been true.

    I usually reach a point where I’m struggling to deliver even a “reasonable” workload in possibly some form of burnout, and then mistakes happen, and bosses start to side eye me. My lack of ability to notice detail at times also doesn’t help, even if I do double back to check.

    But I’m still early in my career, so I am learning, developing new coping skills and moving on to do better (I hope).


  • Thanks for the encouragement. I’ve been put on performance for a while at work and despite my best efforts the situation isn’t improving. I’ve only got a few more weeks before basically guaranteed termination.

    I definitely did have a moment recently where I found a mistake in something I made a point to go through with a fine tooth comb when I did it, and I was so horribly disappointed in myself I wanted to cry and resign because I tried so damned hard, but I still screwed it up.

    And you are right about gaining experience and starting afresh. I hope that as I go along I’ll just gain more experience and be better at my job until I can work and meet expectations, like the average neurotypical person.



  • You don’t need to disclose the diagnosis to your employer as long as you’re not seeking any accomodations. I’ve personally withheld my diagnosis from my boss since there’s no need for accomodations beyond my medication.

    I used to have a very hard time staying awake in meetings that didn’t involve me directly, and medication has been a lifesaver. There will be people who insist you never had a problem before, etc, but I’d encourage you to just ignore them and do what’s in your best interest. You know yourself best.


  • I majored in communications because I was so burnt down after secondary school that it was more a process of elimination - I couldn’t do everything from A to Y, so that only left Z. But I would’ve liked to go into something to do with computers.

    My father’s a software developer too, and seeing my neurotypical younger brother following in his footsteps now is a bittersweet experience. He gets a lot more attention from our dad, and I feel like he’s the white sheep of the family, where I’m the black sheep for not being able to do well in life

    I don’t know if I’ll ever retrain to pursue that career, but I’m in my mid 20s and there’s time if I’d like to. Right now I have a stable career, and I’m working towards life milestones one day at a time.




  • I forget if Vyvanse is available in my country, or if it’s only available in longer effect doses here. I’ve also heard about Concerta (is that the name?) but so far I’ve only tried Ritalin and it works pretty alright if I’m not overstimulated when it starts kicking in.

    I have gotten overstimulated when I went out shopping once while it was in effect. Not a pleasant experience, but definitely a new one.

    That’s a pretty interesting fact about Vyvanse though. What’s the window of effect for the one you take?


  • My interests are like that other meme that got shared here recently, lol. I’m a jack of many, many trades, and I can’t ever seem to complete projects I start, though I am trying more now.

    For people like me, being stuck monetising a single interest strikes this deep sense of unease in me. I’ve been working a few years now, and I’ve decided to stick to something I’m not passionate about, but I can do the job to my abilities and put a lid on at the end of the day.

    Anything else would probably consume my thoughts and leave me feeling mentally exhausted. It’s like task paralysis, but worse.


  • I agree. Society was not built upon accomodating the neurodivergent, and we’ve had to struggle a lot as a result. I’ve also thought about it a lot as well, so there’s nothing wrong with that.

    I spent a lot of time growing up wondering why I wasn’t “normal”, like everyone else. I grew up unable to socialise well with my peers and unable to keep up academically with the demands of my academic environment. I was always struggling to stay awake in class, or focus on a subject I desperately needed to learn. I had to drop out of the sciences because I was struggling horribly and my teacher treated me quite badly for my lack of ability to keep up.

    I wonder now if I could’ve done better if my parents were aware of ADHD and had gotten me the help I very desperately needed, because my mother is still in denial to this day that I’m anything but normal, only lazy, selfish and inconsiderate. I was called a lot of horrible things because of things I couldn’t control. I developed depression, but frequent therapy and counseling as of late has reduced how intense the mood swings are.

    So, given a choice, I likely would’ve wished to be more normal in my own eyes.

    When I went into university and met incredibly accepting and loving people, I really thrived. It’s just sad that many like us have to struggle undiagnosed for such a long time, only to realise that with medication, managing our shortcomings would have been made so much more achievable.

    I still spend a lot of my time unmedicated because I’ve come to accept and love myself, including the ADHD diagnosis that I got on my own last year. The diagnosis helped me find mechanisms that actually work for me, and I’m better off for that.

    I am no less of a person in my own eyes, but the judgement of a society is a lot of weight to bear.




  • Gosh, sorry to hear that. I’m also “functional”, but I’m that duck paddling madly underwater to get anywhere.

    I thought my psychiatrist was also going to say I’m normal because my parents insisted I was when I gave them the childhood ADHD assessment form.

    I read a few questions to my mother because she didn’t want to read it herself, and stopped at about 5 before giving it to my dad to fill out. The final question being: “Does your child have trouble completing schoolwork or household tasks?”

    Her answer: (on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being normal and 5 being very bad ADHD) 1, you didn’t have trouble, you’re just lazy.

    All my life, hearing “you have potential, but you’re just lazy”, or “I didn’t see you dozing off playing games”. No, I’m not lazy, and yes, I have fallen asleep gaming, multiple times.

    I hope you’ll be able to find that diagnosis or at least proper support for your struggles. Just because we function, doesn’t mean we can’t function even better with help and medication.