Have you forgotten that we’re in the Stupidest Timeline? You’ve forgotten haven’t you?

I remember thinking the same about Johnson once.

Another cartoon villain. Might be loony enough to pull back some Reform voters, but she won’t be winning any votes back in the center. She seems to be opposing David Tennant rather than Kier Starmer, but neither is a fight she can win in the court of popular opinion.

The SI unit of progress is the Funeral.

I think we’re waiting for a bunch of very stupid and very stubborn people to … what do they say? … “age out” of the voting pool.

There is a universe in which the Tories make rejoining a “sensible economic management” election pledge in ten years or so, in order to reinvent themselves as something electable in a post-boomer world. All we have to do is jump tracks out of the Stupidest Timeline. Everyone push the wall to your left, one two three NOW.

Nah, they don’t want our troublesome right wing racist selfish arses back in their club.

A bit of white paint to put cycle lanes in the pedestrianised roads would resolve this.

Because the bad ones are harder to catch. They go so fast. Easier to fine the people riding slowly. And BONUS POINTS for appeasing the Daily Mail.

No I don’t hear a noise like that.

One time I saw England return a library book on time. It made me so proud.

Are guillotines a pacifist solution?

Welcome to TERF Island. Try the butterbeer.

Yesterday’s Man can fuck off back to yesterday. Fuck the Guardian for giving him oxygen.

Cool. Do Facebook next.

If it could just go ahead and collapse quite soon, that would be great.

Caught you, Jake!

Good point! When we’re at home managing ourselves, we can take advantage of all kinds of productivity hacks that wouldn’t go down so well in the office.

Remember: with conservatives it’s always projection.

Mogg thought you were slacking off wanking at home.

Waah waah not killing people is slow and boring waaaaah.