Thank you for this, another great read. I’ve also enjoyed reading through the comments and discussions on it and feel like I’m getting more of a handle on the balance you’re trying to strike here. I really appreciate all the clear, engaging and comprehensive comments. They’re giving me a lot of food for thought! :)
We never saw anything like that in school (I’m in the UK), or were shown dead bodies/people dying/anything like that. The closest we came was travelling to places like the Somme and a lot about the world war.
TW, unpleasant content
I remember watching a video at a concentration camp that showed people reduced to near-skeletons because of the horrors they were subjected to, starvation and so forth. I even educated myself in my own time on the horrors of nuclear war as a teen, the horrific injuries and deaths experienced by the victims of the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki etc etc, but it still had a huge negative impact on my ability to function (see below) even though I was looking voluntarily.
And honestly? I **didn’t ** cope well. I have autism, ADHD and OCD (the former two I’ve only been diagnosed with in my 30s), which makes it very hard to filter out, compartmentalise or be ‘thick skinned’ about anything, despite working most of my life on it. I had a really, really hard time. It made my OCD go through the roof, I lived in constant fear and anxiety, and suffered with intrusive thoughts and images of the things I’d seen.
Unfortunately, not everyone is able to process that kind of imagery or story without it having a massive detrimental impact on their life.
In this case, I thought I was going to read a story about a bartender dealing with a patron he didn’t want in the bar, on an instance that I thought was safe from shocking content like that. Having a picture like that slapped in my face was, as I said, incredibly upsetting, and I had to spend time processing and dealing with the emotions it brought up (see disabilities above).
All I’m asking for it a content warning is all, so people can either choose not to look, or at least mentally prepare themselves. :) I hope that helps answer your question a bit, and I’m sorry if it’s rambly!
Edited to add: I didn’t mention it in my original reply because I didn’t want to be speaking on behalf of others, but there are probably a lot of people out there for whom stumbling across that sort of image would be way more traumatic for a variety of reasons. So my concern wasn’t just for me, if that makes sense?
Trigger warning - please be aware of this before following the link to the first article
I read the first article about the bartender and it shows, with no warning, a historical poster that seemingly has a photo of a dead child on it. I cannot unsee that. I would never seek that sort of thing out.
I thought I was just going to read a story about a bartender. Now I feel extremely distressed on a day when my anxiety was already through the roof and I need to start work.
Please, please put content warnings up for that sort of horrifying imagery.
Thank you so much, that’s very kind! <3
Very well said. I wish I could write out my thoughts as eloquently as this!
Thank you for letting us know! I understand that it’s a difficult and nuanced decision to have to make. For what it’s worth, I really appreciate this call. Most of the reason I chose beehaw was to have a safe place where I felt able to open up more and actually participate in a community without fear of hostile or aggressive interactions, and having bad actors infiltrate would probably have sent me back into my online shell again.
I know not everyone will be able to understand fully, but especially if you’re neurospicy and have difficulty regulating emotion, rock-bottom self esteem, executive functioning issues, etc. it is exponentially harder to deal with, process and compartmentalise (if possible at all) negative experiences online. I know for myself I need space and time to be able to build up resilience and internal processes to handle it, and bring thrown in the deep end is more destructive than helpful (I’m 36 and had it tried on me multiple times with people using the ‘cruel to be kind’ approach. All it does is dismantle what little self esteem I scrape together).
Tl;DR, thank you for making this decision and keeping beehaw a safe place to be until you get the tools and resources you need to open up again. 🥰 I know that if I do want to go and check out the other instances, I can just make a new account over there and still have my cosy place here to retreat to if needed for wholesome discussions. <3
Thank you for this update, and I hope you guys are all doing OK. Look after yourselves! And thank you for this space. It’s the first place in ages I actually have felt I want to post or comment on something in anticipation of a friendly discussion instead of worrying about trolls or aggressive responses :)