Far from it tbh, I’m mostly a newb in Linux wizardry too. Everything I learned from linux is by making mistakes and learning from those. If you go in with the expectation to never making any compromise or touching anything its not realistic imo. I thought this is the perfect opportunity to show how it’s done in case someone is looking for the way.
I had multiple failed attempts with non immutable/ rolling releases before, they do break from my experience and the frustration that comes from those broken promises might lead to the frustrating Linux experience you described more so than stating realistic expectations. I’m not trying to trying to show that Linux is bad or complicated, I’m just trying to say, you learned windows for decades to make it yours, you have to learn a couple of things for Linux to do the same. Thinking different is not realistic.
I mean we are kinda splitting hairs at this point, would you rather check, how to install something on a system that doesn’t break, or check how to restore your system that broke from you installing something once the next major update came along. This happened to me before and from my experience that’s exactly where the stability of immutable Distros shine.
Both can be argued for and against, I’m not saying one is better than the other.
If I were op I’d probably go cachyOS keep my eyes out on major e.g. fedora release updates and make at least manually important backups of the home folder. Just learn the feeling of Linux for a while. Given that OP stated they have little patience for fiddeling I’m sure they will come around to stable Debian or immutable releases eventually.