My doctor ordered me a pack of forms and questionnaires to request an assessment for adult autism. In amongst the medical histories and self assessments, this question stuck out;
it is important to know that not everyone who is referred to our service will have a diagnosis of autism confirmed. In the space below, tell us how you think having an autism diagnosis confirmed, or not, might impact on you and your life
What’s going on here? Do you get asked this for other conditions? We’re a community that typically struggles to read between the lines, so I could be way off, but this feels grudging to me. It’s a question that says - what’s the point of us even offering this service, and why are you so special that we should waste our time on you?
It confirmed what I had long suspected, and gave me more language to describe the challenges I face
Yeah words are tools for thinking and they’re so valuable, in a way that’s hard to quantify to other people. In my current situation of self-suspecting, it’s like I’ve been shown the tools, but I have to use them sneakily because I haven’t been given permission.
Yes. Nullifying imposter syndrome was another important outcome of my diagnosis.
which is, in other words, nullifying subconscious gaslighting into thinking that you’re just not trying hard enough.
True, but sometimes if your brain is gaslighting you, you need someone else to tell you you’re not crazy