Everyone is talking about developing skills more skills and techniques. I don’t know what these skills are and I can’t find resources about these skills. And psychologists where I’m from are inaccessible. Where do I start reading about these skills?
One thing I did was to start inserting something ridiculous into my negative self-talk. Then when it popped in my abusive mental dialogue, I started getting better at realizing I was doing it and stopping myself.
Another is to seriously practice self-forgiveness at all times.
Say you’re about to drift off to sleep and remember something you did years ago and you cringe at it, think Why did I do that?! and rehash the moment over and over.
When you do that, you change the very memory you’re recalling. You’re poisoning the well.
If you instead avoid the cringing and laugh at yourself, forgive yourself for not knowing at the time, and acknowledge that you’re a better person now, it pays off when you remember it later.
Lastly, try to figure out the source of your anxiety so that you can address it. For me, it’s strongly tied to my guts, and, well… sometimes I need a snack or to take a dump. And then I can think more rationally about what’s really on my mind.
Self-care and self-forgiveness are monumental. You really have to accept and love yourself, warts and all.
It’s not magic. It’s not a cure-all. And it takes years of work to undo the abusive habits.
The first thing that got through to me was someone on reddit who said “How long would you be friends with someone who speaks to you the way you speak to yourself?”
For the record, I’ve seen three therapists in my life, for one session each. It is something to consider, but in the absence of professional help, you can try to make so as I have.
That start with changing my negative self-talk was 15 years ago or so and I was convinced my medical problems would kill me.
Since then I’ve had surgery (twice), gotten a college degree, got married, bought a house, and had a decade long corporate career I’m about to end in search of something new and exciting.
And I literally thought I would’ve been dead within a year back then.
Everyone is talking about developing skills more skills and techniques. I don’t know what these skills are and I can’t find resources about these skills. And psychologists where I’m from are inaccessible. Where do I start reading about these skills?
One thing I did was to start inserting something ridiculous into my negative self-talk. Then when it popped in my abusive mental dialogue, I started getting better at realizing I was doing it and stopping myself.
Another is to seriously practice self-forgiveness at all times.
Say you’re about to drift off to sleep and remember something you did years ago and you cringe at it, think Why did I do that?! and rehash the moment over and over.
When you do that, you change the very memory you’re recalling. You’re poisoning the well.
If you instead avoid the cringing and laugh at yourself, forgive yourself for not knowing at the time, and acknowledge that you’re a better person now, it pays off when you remember it later.
Lastly, try to figure out the source of your anxiety so that you can address it. For me, it’s strongly tied to my guts, and, well… sometimes I need a snack or to take a dump. And then I can think more rationally about what’s really on my mind.
Self-care and self-forgiveness are monumental. You really have to accept and love yourself, warts and all.
It’s not magic. It’s not a cure-all. And it takes years of work to undo the abusive habits.
The first thing that got through to me was someone on reddit who said “How long would you be friends with someone who speaks to you the way you speak to yourself?”
For the record, I’ve seen three therapists in my life, for one session each. It is something to consider, but in the absence of professional help, you can try to make so as I have.
That start with changing my negative self-talk was 15 years ago or so and I was convinced my medical problems would kill me.
Since then I’ve had surgery (twice), gotten a college degree, got married, bought a house, and had a decade long corporate career I’m about to end in search of something new and exciting.
And I literally thought I would’ve been dead within a year back then.