I can barely remember everything that’s blown my mind. Seeing everything that I’ve felt, that’s made me feel so isolated from other people because I can’t explain it, or they just don’t understand is crazy. Especially Echolalia. I literally can’t go for a few seconds without quoting something. Especially Red Dead Redemption 2. Saying “sure” has never been the same after playing that game lol. Reading through this has blown my mind. It’s like reading out my thoughts. Thanks for the support.
@cogitoprinciple Many autistic people struggle with that. All your live everyone around you signals your feelings or opinions are wrong and you have to adopt NT-feelings. Everyone: „Birthday parties are great! Gotta love it!“ Me: „Mh, no, actually they suck and are exhausting as fuck“. Everyone: „No, what‘s wrong with you!!!“. Everyone wants to be normal, so you learn to hide your true self quickly. Not me anymore. I‘m settling for „autistically normal“ now🥳
Yeah, I force myself to go to a lot of big social events, that I don’t want to go to. I can’t add to the conversation, because either I don’t know anything about typical topics of conversation, or there are too many people talking that I can’t keep up, so I just sit there and wonder why I bothered going. Additionally there’s the sensory and social overwhelm, that kicks in. I’m still figuring out my limits, and how to set healthy boundaries.
@cogitoprinciple I only like events like that if I know I‘ll have an interesting conversation partner who will stick with me the whole time. Nothing more awkward than finding myself alone having to acquire one. If I’m successful, it’s not even a permanent solution because they like changing their partners at these occasions 😂. And the stuff that‘s being talked about usually is of no interest whatsoever. Listening to my autistic self and not going saves me a lot of hustle now.