Do y’all ever feel anxious about taking medication and just stop for prolonged periods of time?
I’ve stopped my meds for 6 months for reasons I’m struggling to discern… And I also have a tendency to skip doses and save my pills in a stash I never touch. I’m not even sure if most of them are useable because they’re so old… For some context, I’ve been using Adderall XR 20mg for 10 years now so I have a pretty good idea of how it affects me.
I finally took one of the newer pills today and I feel unbearably anxious about it, even before doing so. And it’s not like I’m anti-medication or anything, I’ve encouraged others to get tested and medicated because it substantially increases quality of life but there’s something about it that personally is causing distress.
Just looking for some insight with others that have felt the same.
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Yes and no. I had a heart issue a couple of years ago and stopped taking my meds during that process because they can interfere with heart function in theory. That said, I think I am living up on part of your anxiety. Are you afraid that if you get used to them, get used to functioning with them on board, and then they get taken away you will be unable to function but be expected to based on recent performance?
I have had some of that anxiety and it is reasonable. People do tend to see your “new normal” and “normal” after a fairly short time. Their expectations change and their tolerance for you struggling goes down in some ways because they start relying in your performance at that higher level.
It is really unfair but that is something that happens. I have however found some ways around this anxiety. I have built better systems while using my meds that work better for off my meds too. I have automated some things, make others easier to do, and honestly stopped doing a bunch of things I used to do at all. By doing this I have reduced the demand on me on the other days.
If you can use your meds to make life easier for when you are off the meds I think you will feel the anxiety lessen.
Also, depending on where you are and local laws, stockpiling a very small amount, maybe one month ahead or something, can be very helpful. I try to buy my next dose as soon as I can and have ended up with about one month of buffer. Now if my meds are unavailable at the pharmacy I can just not stress and use my backup. Because I rotate through they never get stale and I am never holding more than two months of meds, so I am not in a weird situation of having years of meds to explain away. Be careful of your local laws and so on, it is legal here but may not be there, so don’t get yourself in trouble.
Also, consider non medication supports. For me that is heavy work like weight lifting as well as eating far less sugar. Consider having a reasonable source of caffeine available and keeping your usage down so you don’t built a tolerance to it. If you are out of meds caffeine can help for some people such as myself, nowhere near as good as meds but much better than nothing.
I had the same issue. I didn’t want to depend on meds my entire life. But honestly. After taking it regularly, I’m a better husband and a even better father. I am truly not following my father’s footsteps.
The only thing that works for me is to take it every single morning together with my other daily pill. I take Ritalin LA in the morning and it keeps me mostly functional.
Every time I tried to “only take it on days I needed it”, I ended up not taking it ever. But once I’ve accepted that I’m ALWAYS taking one every single morning, that’s not been a problem. Or at least much rarer. If it gets too late in the day before I take my meds (past 14:00 or so), I skip the Ritalin because it could interfere with sleep. But other than that, I always take it.
If I have a day off that I know I really don’t need to do anything, I might take 20 mg instead of my normal 30. Luckily I get prescribed both for this purpose, my doctors are awesome.
For context, my other daily pill is an antidepressant, but the same could apply for anything: blood pressure, medicine to control chronic illness, or simple vitamins. Even if you don’t take anything else daily, you could start the habit with the adhd meds. The biggest hurdle for me was to accept that I have to take it every single day, and not try to “optimize” my usage of it.
I have felt anxiety about pill rationing after my meds were unavailable for a while. I definitely keep a little stockpile just in case but do limit its size because like you pointed out meds expire.
Have you tried different kinds of meds? Vyvanse is more mellow as it kicks in. It’s also easier on your heart. Might be worth talking to your doctor about it, I think it also is a bit easier anxiety wise.
I don’t take my meds every day, I take them when I’m trying to get stuff done or for work. In that sense I look forward to it because working without meds is a nightmare. Wishing you luck!
I guess it is a stockpile from medication availability now that you say that… My ability to get it has always been uncertain since I started it.
Regarding getting different meds it’s not possible for me unfortunately. My family doctor writes my prescription and they’ve been clear that they can only continue what I’ve already been given previously without adjustments.
I sought out a psychiatrist as per their referral but all have stated they do not treat ADHD and won’t entertain the idea. The psychiatrists wont even treat my anxiety because I have ADHD, it’s a pretty immediate “get out of my office” reaction I’ve gotten when trying to get assistance…
I did at one point have the opportunity to try pretty much everything on the market and concluded that Adderall XR was the best simply because it’s the most affordable on low income.
I do remember Vyvanse feeling smoother but the cost was prohibitive…
There was also a blood pressure medication I can’t remember the name of that was tried as a non-stimulant but it caused distressing side effects so that was stopped.
You’re probably thinking of Guanfacine, it’s used off-label for ADHD because it seems to help some people but the mechanism is unknown.
If you’re in Australia like me, they recently passed a law that makes it so your GP can finally prescribe ADHD medication… So it might be worth asking again. Just a guess though because not many places are this brutal for diagnosing or treating our condition.
Also I had similar pill anxiety. I didn’t like how the meds affected my heart or mood, it felt like I was slowly dying. In my case even though I stopped the meds, I’ve had a taste of what being “normal” is like, and can feel the shape of ADHD and how to adjust for it if that makes sense. I also found a job which is more suited to my condition and less reliant on memory and task management.
Assuming you’re in the US otherwise please disregard the following.
Nurse practitioners can also prescribe ADHD meds so that widens medical professionals to consider and their appointments also generally cost less. In terms of provider availability many states allow telehealth appointments so that’s another thing to consider.
To avoid surprises you can ask when you schedule the appointment if the healthcare provider treats ADHD with stimulants. They should generally know or can find out what that policy is. Last time I moved I did have to call around for a bit but then found a practice that does my refills with a nurse through telehealth.
Availability is nothing to trivially disregard. I know that it was stressful for me to not know when I would be able to refill. Try to keep the meds in the right bottles though so you know when they’re expired. I used to combine pill bottles but then I didn’t know which ones were which age and yeah it was not helpful.
Still not medicated. Tried to start the process, but my doctor said I just wasn’t trying hard enough. Broke my spirit.
It took a lot to get to that point and I occasionally think of trying again, but I completely understand what you mean. It’s scary and I don’t know why.
it really fucking sucks when a doctor just refuses to believe you. sadly they arent all good people. what finally got me medicated was contacting an organization specifically interested in ADHD and they were able to refer me to some people to get evaluated and diagnosed. it might be worth trying that. id go straight to a psychiatrist if you can since they’re the ones who can actually give a prescription. its worth trying to find a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD because some of them will be huge cunts about it too. theres a fucked up gate keeping they do to prevent “drug seeking”, which might make things harder if you go to a psychiatrist who doesn’t see a lot of patients with ADHD.
