There are many lemmy instances in the world, but currently most people are using lemmy.world. This is why everything has gotten so slow.
You don’t have to delete your lemmy.world account, but check out https://lemmy.fediverse.observer/map it’s a geo-based map of lemmy instances – explore stuff nearest you, pick one, sign up, search , subscribe and begin interacting with your favorite communities. It’s easy, free and it will be faster. Try it!
Sure, I also have been trying to learn about how Lenmy works. I haven’t yet found a comprehensive overview that details everything though.
From https://join-lemmy.org/docs/administration/federation_getting_started.html
New posts, comments Votes Post, comment edits and deletions Mod actions
From: https://join-lemmy.org/docs/users/01-getting-started.html
This issue/post on github has some info: https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/3062
I would also checkout some discussions on [email protected] [email protected] https://selfhosted.forum