I’m learning that being told “you’re too sensitive” and other such remarks is considered gaslighting. However, as autistic individuals, we are known for being highly sensitive, both with perceptions and emotions. So, I find myself wondering if perhaps I need to consider that I am more sensitive than the general population and accommodate what I see as their insensitivity, dismissiveness, and blame-shifting.
How do you handle being told “you’re too sensitive”?
What do you think would be a healthy response?
Oh man, that sounds so exhausting 😩
What I’ve learned about narcissistic personalities is that they are paranoid and purposefully delusional. That’s why rationality has nothing to do with the conversation. They are warping reality to fit a worldview that they are the best (grandiose) and deserve all the benefits of being the best (entitlement). As such, if they get something, it’s because they deserve it. If they don’t, then they’re a victim. If they perceive someone is “better than them,” they will warp their delusion to bring them down. Reality has nothing to do with this, so having an argument with them is entirely pointless. They solely want to maintain their delusion.
The point I’m trying to make is that if your mother is narcissistic, you might be misunderstanding her communication. She’s not telling you your perspective, emotions, and experiences are wrong. She’s telling you that she feels threatened by you improving your life and needs you to look down upon in order to maintain her delusion. As such, I think it might be a good idea to learn to translate narcissism to rational talk so you could have a reality that’s founded on…well, reality. Also, maybe try to see a social worker that could help you (1) get access to eye care and other benefits that could help you become a bit more independent and (2) make sense and navigate that difficult environment you are in. What do you think about that?
Honestly, I don’t know. I’ll need to think about it. Parts ring true, and others I’m not sure about. I’m in another state now and basically lost my entire social network, resources, etc., so a social worker isn’t the worst idea. I just don’t know if it will help at all, or if I even qualify. If I need to go anywhere, I’ll have to have them drive me until I can see again. They would, but they’d start to get nosey after a while.
Hell, at one point they demanded my username and password to a government website, because they wanted to check and see if I was filling out a certain type of paperwork, and if I was getting any kind of welfare and hiding it from them.
The moment they get a paranoid idea, they run with it. Then they get upset at anyone else if their behavior causes problems, never once stopping to wonder if they were wrong.
…
Yeah, an expert might help. I think I’ll see if that social worker can do anything. Would you mind if I hit you up with a few questions, if I have any? I honestly might delete this whole thread. It’s kind of embarrassing to leave out in public.
omg, from the outside, what you’re saying about that sounds troubling. I’m happy you’re noticing it, acknowledging it’s not okay, and are working to gain some distance. You’re on your path.
I totally get wanting to delete this. You can definitely hit me up on Matrix. I think the direct messaging on Lemmy might be publicly accessible too, so that avenue wouldn’t help with privacy. My Matrix account is in my profile. I’m not a therapist nor a family counselor of any sort, but I would be happy to answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability 🙂
Thanks. I’m gonna take some time. May or may not message you. But I appreciate it. I feel less insane now that someone else confirms this is fucked up.
Yeah, I’ve learned that that’s a sign of gaslighting. Again, I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s not okay at all. And, you’re welcome! I’m glad it helped. That’s what we’re all here for, and I’ll be there if you reach out 👍