Fantastic username, Ace

I fucking love you. Thanks for giving me a nice laugh before turning in for the night.

About fucking time. What’s the point in having friends if you can’t drunkenly jump from their moving car in the middle of Death Valley during a heatwave? YOLO!

Edit: Apparently the ridiculous scenario and “YOLO” weren’t enough to indicate that this was sarcasm…

Piss trickling down on us would be an improvement

“Sure, I knew that voting for Trump meant more and worse genocides including on American soil, but I expected it from him. Seeing a genocide under Kamala Harris’s tenure as not-president made me worry she wouldn’t actually help once she became president. And then I’d be disappointed. Why would I want to possibly be disappointed when I can instead experience horrors that meet expectations?”

- Probably a couple million people who shot their foot with their own cut-off nose as ammunition

"Sorry I missed the meeting that should have been an email, the military fucked up my alarms. Anyway, just send me an email with the tldr. "

What’s that in freedom units?

“What was Windows even doing for us?”

Providing minimal malware protection while being actual malware?

Check it out, I’m a masshole! *toot*

These used to be all over my grandparents’ backyard when my mom was a kid; about a week ago, I saw the first I’ve seen in a few years. Ant pest control in this neighborhood has gotten significantly more effective over the past 10 years or so that fact about them eating ants is incredibly revealing to me.

“Overthrow your government for us. C’mon. Do it or I’ll punch you harder!”

What’s Magic Head doing there?

Oh! They got this all screwed up.

For invading Lebanon~~,~~? we can’t**.** support you!

About as quiet as a shart

What the fuck you doing, Israel?

A 72-year-old who was paid $1000 to fight as a mercenary? Can you even travel to the Ukraine from Montana and find a place to stay for less than $1000?

Something doesn’t add up at all.

vowed to present the judges with “extremely serious and extremely solid arguments.″

Super duper totally for real arguments that aren’t made up at all. In fact, you’re the liar!

Hmmm… Might be a good idea to avoid beer halls in Austria right now…

Oh, sorry. My anger made me lose sight of context. I’m still in fucking disbelief seeing “the curse”