You should try being assertive, you can look it up, but essentially it’s a healthier communication style that emphasizes on facts and feeling. For example, you shouldn’t say you don’t care for me, instead say you cancelling our date made me feel dismissed.

You can look it up online, essentially it’s a middle ground between being passive or aggressive.

Keep in mind that every feeling is valid, and trying to pursuade someone otherwise is the art of gaslighting. Emotional manipulation and gaslighting, are common in a Narcissist’s playbook, if you feel you emotions are invalidated don’t angry, instead leave it’s not worth your time.

IMO we need to break it in a few independent but cooperating decentralized systems;

1. A transportation service where consumers will request the transportation of goods or people from point A to point B, and providers will make bids for those requests.
2. A storage service where providers will offer storage of goods at specific locations, and consumers that make requests for the storage.
3. A LC service, where two parties can enter an letter-of-credit (LC) contract, and providers can guarantee the contract.

If these systems are available, it would be possible to implement additional decentralized services like;

• Marketplaces.
• Passenger transportation services.
• Food delivery.
• Probably many more.

Friendly reminder that the high seas are always an option. Download stremio, install the torrentio addon, and you are good to go.

Is anyone interested in starting a book club? Right now I am reading “Implementing Domain-Driven Design” by Vaugn Vernon.

That’s not the case for me, I can start doing stuff while talking with someone that is sitting, watching TV, or whatever.

I think having someone near your serves two purposes:

1. It helps your brain produce happiness juice (dopamine), that makes doing stuff easier.
2. They act as an anchor, helping you stay at one place and focus on what you should be doing, like a physical reminder.

If other people negatively impact your ability to get things done, I would suggest looking into it. Maybe you are subconsciously copying them, or you feel same shame doing stuff while others are not. I am not trying to invalidate your experience, just suggesting that it’s possible you can gain a better understanding of it if you dive deeper.

I have procrastinated the hell out of it 😭 Thanks for reminding me though ❤️

Hit me up!

I would give myself a solid 4.2/5 on python.

• I have in deepth knowledge of more than a few popular libraries including flask, django, marshmallow, typer, sqlalchemy, pandas, numpy, and many more.
• I have authored a few libraries.
• I have been keeping up with PEPs, and sometimes offered my feedback.
• I have knowledge of the internals of development tooling, including mypy, pylint, black, and a pycharm plugin I have created.

I wouldn’t give myself a 5/5 since I would consider that an attainable level of expertise, with maybe a few expections around the globe. IMO the fun part of being really good at something is that you understand there still is to learn ❤️

I’ve had a very tough time finding my first position as a junior dev

The hiring landscape for software engineers/developers is a mess for the past year or so. You shouldn’t internalize the experience, most likely you are just unlucky.

A few things to consider for finding a job:

1. Utilize your connections, a lot of hiring still happens through connections. If you have attended a university/college/bootcamp reach out to your professors and check if they can refer you to any positions.
2. Make sure your CV can be parsed by tools. Try uploading your CV on open resume, if it’s not parsed correctly you might want to update it.
3. Create a portfolii website, it’s a great way to illustrate your skills. Also, others here can check it out and offer advice.
4. Update your LinkedIn profile, make sure to check that open for recruiters thingy.

If you want to learn more about react I am happy to have a chat with you (no fee), feel free to DM me.

Been writing an article about dating while being AuDHD. While I am not going to pretend I am some guru that is going to turn your dating experience upside down, I have a few things that have worked for me:

1. Be open about your neurodivergency. If a person is worth it, they will be interested to know more about it, try to understand and accommodate your needs, and be charmed by your quirks.
2. Respect your RSD. If you feel like you are receiving negative feedback don’t shutdown, instead ask for clarification. If you want to do something but are afraid how it will be perceived, ask them. Unsurprisingly, people tend to appreciate the check-ins, it is perceived as you being caring.
3. Try pebbling. It is the act of sharing things that you think the other person would appreciate. Feel free to info dump, feel free to share relevant experiences.
4. Be meta as fuck. Explain your thought process, why you are doing something, and that train of thought that led to you saying seemingly completely irrelevant. Allistic people don’t understand neurodivergence, but the right people will make the effort.
5. Be honest. Maybe you don’t feel safe to expose your date to your fully unmasked self, and that’s okay. BUT, honesty can go a long way. See something you like? Turn that into a compliment! Feeling insecure? Explain that and ask for validation! Something bothers you? Ask for the appropriate accommodations!
6. Don’t try to impress the other person. Instead give your date the chance to like the real you. It’s much more sustainable in the long term, you will feel more free and safe in your relationship, and it’s fucking good to be appreciated.
7. Routinize flirting. The consistency feels great for the other person, everyone needs a confidence boost and a few words of affirmation.

I have setup a rustdesk server with docker, it was surprisingly easy to get started. It was for a friend who is managing the IT services of a small factory, the completely switched from TeamViewer and they are satisfied. More importantly their users, who are worse than your average windows user, found the transition relatively painless.

TIL this is called cognitive shuffle, it seems there a few studies on its effect on late onset insomnia, but no conclusive evidence on its efficacy. I am wondering if a more targeted study would provide better results (aka only on monotropic people)?

I have been using for the past month. I am not a power user, I mostly use it when I need to access libgen. Previously, I was using nordvpn. I feel proton is faster both when connecting to a server but also the connection is faster/more reliable. For example, if I forget to turn it off, I can watch a yt video without any issues.

I am stealing that phrase, thanks 🙏

I find it helps navigate certain quirks and get the help I need to thrive. For example, after disclosing I have ADHD, people are much more open to move when I am affected by background noise.

Weed can be addictive for people with ADHD, it’s one of most common of forms of self medicarion but in the long run it probably going to make things worse.

Source: I was addicted for 3 years, at first it did wonders for my sleep issues and increased my productivity. At some point, I had to smoke daily or I would get headaches and huge cravings, my tolerance would constantly increase, and then it didn’t help with my sleep issues anymore.

Now, I am only using it recreationally once every few months. It’s fun but I have to be careful otherwise I know things can turn sour really fast.

I think you are spending too much effort to engage with a person that is not engaging back with you. Regardless if your behavior was creepy or not, you are worth more than that. That person wasn’t matching your effort in maintaining a relationship (friendship in this scenario). Remember it takes two to tango, no matter how much you want it, you won’t be able to carry a relationship on your own…

For context, I am the top donor at my instance, I recognize that there is a need for funds. BUT, I believe it’s important for the fediverse to be accessible to everyone regardless if they have the funds for that.

Dopamine received, initiating hyperfocus protocol!

As a rule of thumb, we’ve observed that a team of 5 trained moderators appears to provide ample coverage and redundancy for servers of about 1,000 active users

That’s a fascinating bit of information. I would expect 5 moderators to provide coverage for more users. I am wondering how they came up with that statistic (will update the comment if I find an answer).

Remember that offliine/IRL community management experience can be just as important as online experience

Interesting idea, wondering what’s the IRL presence of the fediverse…

If you’re building toward participatory or democratic governance, consider establishing a proposal and voting system (some teams we spoke with use Loomio, but multiple options exist) for major policy decisions.

That’s soooo important, I love when communities create polls to decide on policy changes.

Avoid promoting brand-new members unless you already have a pre-existing relationship with them

I have followed some discussion on multi-level hierarchies on the fediverse, wondering if there are any instance implementing that…

Consider charging for accounts or offering paid memberships.

Hell no!

We hope there will be more resources available in the future, particularly tooling around legal compliance. This is one of the big infrastructural gaps we point out in our main report

That’s a big issue, I would be interested in hosting an instance available to other people, but I don’t want to end up in jail and I lack the resources to make sure that won’t happen…

That was an interesting read, it seems there is an in-depth analysis of the report here.

Can someone ELI5 so I can get enough dopamine to go read the whole thing?