My dad smoked for a bit when he was 14 but then he stopped because he didn’t like it. My mom never did.
I honestly find it hard to believe there is a statistically significant link between smoking and having children with autism. But I also don’t look into these science subjects that often.
I can do nothing for your sadness but tell you I would feel the same and it’s shitty that your mom makes you feel that way.
I can tell you that you should never doubt yourself though, especially given you have come to accept those things about yourself and you had the confidence to tell your mom, even though you knew what might happen. You’re awesome for making it this far and no one will ever take that from you. Don’t beat yourself up about the response, you have done everything you could and that is more than enough. You’ve done enough thinking on this anyway, I’m sure.
I’m sure things will turn out fine, though it might take a while. But I want you to know I’m fucking proud of you and that’s all that matters.
<3
That makes perfect sense.
For me the most annoying thing is that no one is pure evil, neither is he. So it’s hard to just blame him and and be done with it. Things are always complicated. A lot of the time there’s no one to blame. Because that doesn’t help. Not him, but also not yourself.
One thing though: you said there will always be a place in your heart for him and that you will always support him. Please make sure you prioritize yourself. Don’t give him too much of your time and energy. If you are a friend of him, he is a friend of yours. It’s real easy for people to invest everything just for some “what if”.
Someone needs to think of you and if it’s not him, it has to be yourself. Things will become normal, but until then someone needs to watch out for you.
That’s a lot.
It sounds like he only wants to be friends.
The things he is upset about are his issues. You are not his girlfriend, so you don’t need to address them because they don’t really concern him.
He is trying to set boundaries and it looks like he’s not good at it. It sounds like this is bad for both of you. But it looks like at this point there’s not gonna be a relationship.
The only thing you can do is find a way to move on. All the good things, but all the bad things as well will stop and things will be different, but there’s nothing really you can do. However what you two do together is up to you. If you need some time to process, tell him and take your time. If you think you can go back to being friends - try it, but be mindful this will be hard.
You are not your mistakes, and some of the things he said are his issues to deal with. Your body count? Sure he can be upset but that’s not on you to change. You told him the truth and the only thing he can do is accept it or break up and move on.
Right now it sounds like you two are not a great fit. He doesn’t value you enough to trust you, and you are trying to hold onto him even though he doesn’t trust you.
Maybe at some point things can be different but not right now and you need to have a life outside of him so you don’t get hung up on mind games.
Somewhere there’s someone who loves you for all you are but if it’s not him then that’s how it is. And if it is him, then there’s a lot of things he needs to learn before it might work. Don’t wait for that, you need to keep doing you for now.
In conjunction with the other comments, maybe there’s a disability advocate at your university that you can ask on how to make it easier for you. Now, it’s gonna be harder than if you already had a diagnosis, but nevertheless I think this is the most pragmatic thing to make everything a bit easier.
Maybe ask them if someone can record and you watch it back, or maybe just looking at the slides, or there might be something else they would come up with.
In the mid term maybe getting a therapist will help just to find your way around with your parents and everyone else. If that’s not possible, having a friend to just dump day to day things onto might be nice and it’s always good to get a second opinion and someone who can bounce ideas off of you. It’s the small things that might make a difference.
Maybe carving out little blocks of time to get some you-time might also help. Even if it’s mundane things like sitting on a bench in the park or dedicating time watching YouTube videos. As long as you make sure that little time you plan out is reserved.
In the long term you should obviously try to push through, so you can afford to move out. This will massively improve your life, as it will relieve you of what sounds like a relationship thats just pushing unnecessary pressure onto you. Regardless of whether they mean well, your parents are being toxic and childish. University is a very hard time for most people and I saw people get burnout left and right. Hell, I got there myself I’m pretty sure. Your parents should make sure you push through, but more importantly they should help you to deal with it and make sure you are taken care of while you work your ass off. Whatever is going on is something that’s on them and you just have to make sure you get out as soon as possible.
And of course don’t be too hard on yourself, especially when your parents are probably tearing you down anyway. If you fail and it takes more time, then that’s just how it is. Your parents probably just hate seeing mistakes that they’ve made before come back around for you. Life will be imperfect as long as we’re human.
That said, you’ve made it to where you are all by yourself and you should be proud. One step at a time, chew on it piece by piece and make sure you get to see your progress every time, so you can see how you’re getting closer. All the things I told you are ideas I have that might help you but most importantly take care of yourself and keep going. You’ll get out of this limbo.
If you ever need to talk feel free to dm me and until then I’ll be over here cheering you on :)
TL;DR
Yes. It was so bad I started investing most of my time into hobbies. But I’m writing my bachelor’s thesis this semester and life will go on. I found my way out of that hole. I’m sure you will do too.
Make music, perform music, make games, make movies, write small books and maybe draw pictures.
And then I would try out being a research attorney, being an EMT, a pilot, maybe working with NASA at some point and working for some government agency specializing in digital warfare.
People always assume if you had everything you would just sit at home and be lazy and never try anything. But from my experience you don’t do that shit just because you’re complacent, you do it because either you are way too stressed out to try out new stuff or you are in the middle of a depressive episode. Almost all people I know wouldn’t be able to be lazy for more than 2 weeks, they would start making something.
NGL the question and the projections read like they are two different posts.
Hi, I’m audhd as well. What do the levels mean? I had an informal diagnosis done by my therapist but I didn’t get a level, I was just “high functioning”.
Tbf “our CEO went off making hitler salutes, dismantling our government and issuing shady deals with rich people” is one hell of an excuse. Probably the best one yet for Tesla.
On a serious node, I feel bad for the engineers who came there to do something great and never got to follow through on it. There’s some geniuses working there that should get more deference.
Yeah I’ve come to accept that there’s an amount of money needed to get comfortable. But when you get there, any surplus will not bring any happiness and might even inspire egoism and jealousy. But there is a line.
I’m wondering if your social group has something to do with it. Usually social circles have very distinct habits and patterns of behavior so this might be related.
That said, if not, it could be more of a perception but it could also be real.
And then the question is what can you change, and what should you change.
I have autism, so I empathize with the inability to see yourself from the outside and to understand how much and in what ways behaviors affect others - but I’ve also learned that if you have friends, you can always ask them about it, and if they’re good friends, they will give you useful pointers. More useful than random people on the Internet anyway.
So either it is they way you act or perceive things, which is stuff you can work on, or it’s a pattern of a specific friends circle, and that means maybe you just express yourself very differently and therefore it’s hard to relate to them.
Anyway I wish you good look on figuring it all out and as someone who is constantly trying to improve, I’m sure if you take a hold of the root cause, you’ll quickly adapt :)
Yeah this will populate information about DNA and genomes from you and relatives into their database.
This can be an issue for the following reasons:
My first thoughts were the naked gun or Monty Python movies.
This is probably the best answer. If everything is truly only running on local network and nothing is exposed with a port through your router, you are very safe.
Most issues get introduced when running a server exposed to the Internet.
That said, on the lowest level, if they want to get you, they will. It’s all a risk analysis. And the more interesting you are to adversarial parties, the higher the chances you’ll get pursued.
If you’re Edward Snowden, 99% your calls and conversations are always on record.
If you’re John Doe, truly only your ISP cares when they get a law enforcement request because you really pushed the envelope.
Trending movies are notoriously bad, because movie studios will really try to rake in the revenue.
On the other hand, ripping music from YouTube, no one cares or is able to track it, so risk is very low.
It’s about the dangers of misuse of AI too. That’s pretty on point I would think.
I’m very new to open source but I’d love to get involved but is there a discord or something to get up to speed?
Disgraceful
I mean blocking specific countries is stupid anyway. Historically China has been playing games with the EU and the US on a geopolitical level. But: Chinese, European as well as American researchers have been at the core of research on current topics like AI, security, etc. Btw. ironically the scientific landscape is very collaborative and borders on a federated model, it’s actually pretty neat how much researchers don’t care about country of origin.
What I’m saying is introducing geopolitics into open source development or research is one of the most stupid things to do, because it punishes both your and the other country and only benefits uninvolved third parties. It’s literally shooting yourself in the foot.
Depending on your setup, YouTube will still fingerprint your browser and track your behavior, as is common practice with ad networks.
Your cookies and data might be cleared but as long as yt has any way to generate a unique identifier out of your browser preferences, it will identify you and start looking at your behavior / figuring out an algorithm.
Just fyi.
That’s what my estrogen dealer told me as well