What would we call it? hallo-old-chum-you-fiend? my-good-friend-the-dishonourable-sir?

Is anyone posh using British Lemmy who can help advise?

I think so - he definitely played for Leeds. He must be in his 50s now, so maybe he’s took up journalism? :)

I genuinely didn’t realise that! It looked like they were missing, and just had the little nubs underneath.

Would you perhaps like to imagine they were missing, if only for the sake of my previous comment? :)

How often do you write the word “wads”? I can see a potential problem.

I hope that’s shared out amongst everyone. If it’s a tax increase of £25bn each, I must admit that I may struggle to pay it.

Perhaps a warning rather then a genuine murder attempt?

Though the list of suspects must be “Any politician, celebrity or person who has been in the news and done something wrong, stupid or hypocritical since the 1980s”.

Because if you don’t support Israel’s far-right government, the British right-wing press will call you “antisemetic” over everything you do for the next five years.

I think it meant to say “Scrounger Guy Hands realises legislation loophole, which allowed him to steal billions of pounds of unearned money off the British Government and the British people, will be closed, leaving his company with a tiny fraction less of immoral profit, whilst still making billions in profit”

Sadly, it’s been mildly drifting that way since the 1990s - though the drifting has sped up quite a bit during most of the Tory Governments. Not sure if Brexit specifically sped things up again, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

A “consent and pay”, or “paywall” (or even “register-wall”) website is totally fine and should be free to exist - but it shouldn’t be indexed by search engines as a response to a question, and shouldn’t be linkable on any form of social media.

This is good, but they could really do with running these for older people too.

Here’s one I heard this week for example:

“My friend down at the bowls club said on Facebook that they’re not even real immigrants, but they’re special forces soldiers from the secret UN Army and they’re bringing them over here to take over the British and they’ve all got really good shoes and mobile phones you see, that’s how you can tell and they’re all of fighting age aren’t they?”

6. Rupert Murdoch
7. The Daily Mail, Express, Telegraph
8. Nigel Farage
9. Elon Musk
10. Putin’s Internet disinformation army

“Phwoar! Most of the people in this hospital are wearing nurse’s uniforms! Kinky!”

“A Conservative spokesperson said: “Rishi Sunak as prime minister made it clear that we must stand up to extremism in all its forms.”

Whose slogan were they chanting, as they set fire to local shops and threw bricks and street furniture through hotel windows? I think it was “STOP THE BOATS! STOP THE BOATS!”.

I wonder what horrible far-right hatemonger put that into their heads?

I hope Rishi is going to help us find the vile extremists who invented and promoted this “stop the boats” slogan.

Perhaps whoever they are could be shipped off to Rwanda, which, as a landlocked country, doesn’t have much use for boats.

The Tooth Fairy is trying to save up for retirement.

Here they still exist - they just make you pay if you want a new one. I (and seemingly most people) use them all the time still, but I guess more people reuse them more times now. I’m quite happy to pay 30p for one when the old ones get used up. I think they’re a bit sturdier than they used to be too - so less likely for the handles to snap when you’ve still got a mile to walk home.

I guess it mostly cut down on unwanted ones getting littered etc. Now they’re valuable, all the more reason to hoard them in a cupboard in the kitchen.

Where you are it sounds like they stopped existing - what do you put your food shopping in? Do you still have a thousand left that you previously hoarded?

I think technically it’s both, but it’s mainly focused on the former - the shop and supermarket ones. You now pay 20 or 30p for them - previously when they were free, they would sometimes force a bag on you, even if you didn’t want one (I guess to walk around advertising their shop).

Throwing pretend milkshakes at a pretend Nigel Farridge is disrespectful.

We should be burning effigies of him on bonfires.

I miss lovely, earthy, warm, friendly chocolatey Brownbuntu.

I always felt purplebuntu was a bit vile.

“The Eight” provisional list #1

1. Facebook
2. Apple
3. Google
4. Elon Musk
5. The Oil Industry
6. The people that Putin has incriminating blackmail videos of
7. The immortal demon priest and spirit of evil, Mumm-Ra (currently using the name “Rupert Murdoch”)
8. The Lizard People that David Icke warned us about

The list seems very incomplete, so I reckon there’s more than eight involved - but maybe the first four are all just puppets for the “Ask Jeeves” guy?