Not dumb at all. If you aren’t familiar with latex, the easiest way to use it would be to make an overleaf account, open the template, and follow along through the comments in the document. Most everything is formatted for plug-and-play entry, so you just fill in the required fields. It is a bit technical, but should be mostly readable even without markup experience. You can also copy the text from the .tex files (itemcard.tex, ItemCommands.tex, and tcolorboxSettings.tex) into chatGPT along with your item description and it will convert it for you.
An old granny bard, based in no small part on my own grandma. She doesn’t channel her magic through song or dance, but through her sassy remarks, telling stories about her childhood, and making baked goods, sweets, and presents for her adopted grandkids (the adventuring party).
Bardic Inspiration? Reminding you how much she loves you and is proud of you. Alternatively, giving you some candy for later or promising that if you do well, she will bake you a pie or take you out for icecream for being so brave.
Healing spells? Blown kisses, band-aids, and warm cookies.
Hypnotic Pattern/Hold Person/etc? Telling a rambling story (that she forgot what the point/moral was before she even started) but the enemies are too polite to interrupt her.
Dissonant Whispers/Visious Mockery/etc? Asking when you are going to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, graduate, get married, or get a real job. Telling bad (and slightly innapropriate) jokes, for her own amusement, often messing up the punchline. Asking if you have talked your mother recently (“You know, she won’t be around forever, and I am sure she wishes you’d write more.”) Simply saying “Bless your heart.”
Party Buffs? Giving you knickknacks, homemade gifts, or old hand-me-downs she really thinks you’ll like. Passing down age-earned wisdom and giving encouragement to just try your best. Making breakfast for the party, using far too much butter, cream, and other artery clogging goodness.