• 0 Posts
  • 73 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 5th, 2023

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  • It is more that they are not growing, and that means dying in their business model. By not reporting an accurate metric of user engagement, they are hiding the stagnation or loss. Background logins from apps are likely also hiding the real picture of user engagement. Without active user engagement they lose their revenue, data harvesting and advertising.

    So there are signs that they are in a downturn, which will lead to irrelevance and failure.


  • I am not trying to be insulting, but I am going to give you my perception of you bluntly. I don’t believe that you are socially aware/intelligent enough to see interpret her behaviors to understand her motivations and handle the situation without issues.

    If she is equally socially oblivious/ignorant, that complicates matters so much more because neither of you have any clue what the other is doing or thinking, which creates a big grey area that gets so much more messy than just one person being oblivious.

    On the worse side is if she is very socially aware and intelligent, doesn’t respect your relationship at all, and is wanting to manipulate things in her favor. She may just be with someone just so she isn’t alone and he is just keeping her occupied while she waits for you.

    People giving statements about their morality should always be taken to have an “unless…” tacked onto their statements. “I would never go after someone in a relationship, unless…” You may be an “unless”.

    The smart move is to never be alone with her. It sucks losing a friend because they have feelings, but keeping someone in the friend zone without feelings getting hurt or intentions misunderstood is hard enough when you are socially intelligent and aware, basically remote robotic rocket surgery while blindfolded if you aren’t.

    It is great that your girlfriend and you have an open dialogue about what is going on, that helps her feel more trusting of you and helps build confidence in the relationship and your fidelity. Talk with her and ask her what you should do about your friend.

    I know I wouldn’t be comfortable with my socially inept and oblivious girlfriend spending time with a guy who has made a move on her before and invited her to romantic activities alone on my birthday, but at the same time I would struggle with asking her to stop being friends with him. I would want them to stop being friends because I am insecure and have been cheated on and feel threatened by their friendship for fairly valid reasons.


  • You are in the wrong on many fronts. Including that information in the OP is a good idea so the bigger picture is understood.

    Your friend has very clear romantic interest in you and likely has for a while, she doesn’t respect your relationship with your girlfriend, and she doesn’t want to give up trying to steal you from your girlfriend. Until she can respect your relationship, you should not be alone with her. Even if you didn’t consider going to the beach with her a date, she was trying to take you on a date. By trying to be her friend, you are probably leading her on and she probably thinks the attention you are giving her is an indication that you have romantic interest in her that is held back by your current relationship. She probably thinks that being persistent and pushing or overstepping the platonic line will be rewarded. If you have no interest in her, she needs to know that.

    Your girlfriend’s issues related to being cheated on need to be considered. She should be working on that, but you need to work with her on that by being open and honest to build trust because she doesn’t trust you. If she doesn’t know the whole story between you and your friend, you need to tell your girlfriend everything. Understand that your girlfriend probably is paranoid that you are going to cheat on her like that other guy and she may constantly be looking for signs that you are or will cheat on her because she probably looked at the last relationship for signs that she missed and is applying that to your relationship. If the two of you don’t work on her infidelity concerns, it will drive a wedge between the two of you and lead to the relationship failing even if everything else in the relationship is fantastic. It isn’t fair to you for her to suspect you might cheat on her just because some other guy did, but your history with your friend has given your girlfriend plenty of cause to be suspicious of you.

    You also should be thinking about what is best for you. There are two women that want to be with you and one might be better than the other, even if that isn’t your girlfriend. Staying with the wrong person isn’t fair to 3 people.



  • Literally anything can be romantic, but watching the sunset on the beach is a prime example of a classic romantic activity, but that does not mean you can’t watch a sunset on the beach platonically. What makes a situation romantic is if there is romance. Getting dressed up and going out for dinner for two at a nice restaurant can be romantic or just dinner with a friend at a nice place. Going thrift store shopping can be romantic, or just a fun time with a friend. I would look up some “romantic date ideas” to get a rough idea of romantic themes to inform you better.

    Some people expect their partner to make their birthday all about them, that can lessen with age. Not devoting your entire day to your partner on their birthday may be the problem.

    If your partner feels there is potential for some sort of romantic involvement with this friend, perceived or real, then you need to talk with them and understand if they know or believe something you don’t or if they feel insecure and if there is a lack of trust.

    If you didn’t tell them what you planned to do, that may be the problem. If you had to ask permission, that isn’t healthy in a relationship. Asking them how they feel about you going and making your decision to go, counting their opinion, is wise but understand that you should be able to go do things with your friends and you shouldn’t have to ask permission.

    If they wanted to go because that sounded like fun and you didn’t try to invite them on their birthday, that may be the problem. Just inviting them to come with isn’t fair to your friend that wanted to hang out with you and not feel like a 3rd wheel and divide your attention. You can always make plans with your partner on another day and respect the time you have with them and friends.

    There are a lot of aspects of this situation that can be why your partner is upset, and it may not be the activity itself. You have to sit down with them and talk to them so you understand their position, they understand your position, and the two of you can come to an understanding and know what may need work in the relationship.


  • Low risk for the unambitious.

    If you are just doing the basics to fidget, you won’t have them go sabot on company or your property. If you are trying out the more advanced flourishes where you break contact or capture, probably do that where you won’t bolo pitch your ADHD tamer into sensitive equipment.

    They are also less likely to go forward as they are sideways due to ergonomics.