Goodwill stores, at least where i live, are good for people in shaky situations. More accepting of people with special needs, circumstances. Mention cuz, not the type of work you’re looking for… for me, been out of work so long (8 years), me getting a p/t job at goodwill, committing, proving i can keep it, it’s the only way better paying jobs will take me seriously.

Would like the 75k per year tech job I had b4 becoming homeless. But have to be realistic, start small.

Out of sight, out of mind. If I need to clean frequently, I have to keep cleaning supplies out, easy to access. Enter a room, see cleaning supplies, oh, I should clean. Without the visual reminder, won’t remember.

Keep at least 2 to 3 notebooks on hand. Always writing stuff down. I’ll research, be thinking about something, but brain starts to lose focus. Write it down. Will completely forget after that. But when thought enters brain later, oh wait, I made notes…

Notepad app on phone. Anything important, will forget, so need to record.

Dbt, cbt has helped. Brain tends to be scattered, all over the place, so daily mindfulness, grounding exercises to connect to moment.

Only able to process data rapidly, large scale, all data at once. So, books with large pages, lots of data broken down, grouped for rapid assimilation.

Routines are essential. Phone always in left pocket, keys in right pocket, etc. If I put keys somewhere else, I’ll freak, panic. So routine, if I start to panic, look in usual spot, wait, they’re where they’re supposed to be.

If out in public, at a counter, take wallet out, lay on counter… stare at wallet entire time, not breaking eye contact, or else I’ll forget it’s there.

Wallet attached via chain. Small compact umbrella so I can keep in pocket, otherwise will lose it. Carbiner attached to things so it’s easier to hold, not lose.

Don’t have internet where I live. But your suggestion sounds way helpful.

Asperger syndrome and long term relationships. Woman author, last name Wiley, I think. She talks about her relationship with asperger partner.

The ethical slut. Odd, but it helped a lot, taught me how to communicate with people.

How to win friends and influence people. A bit cheap, scammy like. But has few good parts.

Go online, research the different ways autism peeps and neurotypicals communicate. Really fascinating. When autism people think of communicating, it’s the sharing of thoughts, ideas. Neurotypicals, it’s about elaborate rituals, almost a dance, they need it to know they’re included, have been accepted into the social group.

Fascinating from an anthropology perspective.

Heck yes. Lot of creative people with fascinating stories.

Yep. Most people in psych wards are struggling, need to process, deal. A typical dynamic I’d find: in the common room during free time, a few would be hanging out, socializing. Some sitting in corner would look over, and you could see they wanted to join, but were scared to. So one of us would say, hey if you want to sit with us, feel free. Some would accept, take chair next to us, and they’d sit quietly, and we’d leave them be, not pressure. Some would thaw, start engaging more. And some would leave, go sit in a corner.

Sometimes, I’d be that person, and be grateful for them reaching out, offering to include me.

This can translate to outer world. Just, normal world, can be hard to connect, people are less honest, less weird. I do better with weird. =)

Used to. Constantly wanting their approval, ways to impress them, make them like me. Constantly trying, making an effort to connect, join.

Then realized was focusing on my needs. Often, people so wrapped up in their own drama, realized I wasn’t the center of the universe. So I stopped trying.

Once I did that, weird thing happened. People started to come to me, wanting to chat, hang out.

Of course, this was in a psych ward, and I’m 43, no friends, living in a crappy studio apt, and only people I talk to are myself and random strangers on the internet. So what do I know.

I have no idea what this is about, but seeing this in my feed made me bust out laughing. I love how random and weird lemmy can be at times.

I dont understand everything about quantum physics. I’m trying to learn. It reminds me about chaos theory and the properties of closed dynamic systems.

Rough analogy. Imagine a small fresh water aquarium. Exact size, always same location. Indoors, water temperature same. Same terrain on the bottom. Only 4 fish, simple behavior.

If you try to predict where a certain fish will be at an exact time, can do so with high accuracy.

But now… aquarium can change size. Freshwater. Saltwater. Sometimes indoors, other times outside. More effected by external forces. And fish behavior is way more complicated. At one temp, fish is a gas. Another temp, solid. Another fish in one setting behaves as particle , other settings, as a wave.

There’s also a chaotic element in the aquarium, randomness, chance.

Try to predict the exact physical location of a specific fish at a specific point in time… you can’t. What you can do is track patterns, trends over time. Expressed mathematically, you take into account various variables, environmental forces, etc. End result: equation says that a specific fish’s location at a specific point in time is a range of possible locations, possible states.

Some people incorrectly think us observing the fish causes it to be at that location. Nope.

This abstract superimposed multiple states thing is a math concept. But this can be confused with a separate tenet of quantum physics, the observer effect.

First double slit experiment was 1800s. Proved light was both particle and wave. In 1900s, scientists recreated this experiment with other elements. Electrons, etc. They realized other elements behaved the same. In one experiment, trying to figure out what was causing this behavior, they built tiny detectors, put it at one of the slits. Electron(?) stopped behaving as a wave, behaved as a particle. They removed the detector, wave behavior resumed.

The observer effect has nothing to do with human observation, human perception. All it means, when something is measured, it can change.

Here in the larger macro world, you’ve got a beam of wood. Get a tape measure to measure it. Hook metal tab at one end, run tape along wood to other end.

Rough analogy here… when tape measure hooks onto wood edge, a few molecules are shaved off. But it’s so infinitesimal. Doesn’t matter. But descend into quantum realm, where stuff is way tiny, and the tiny difference becomes huge.

So, with our limited scientific knowledge, we measure stuff, it changes it. Cuz of the clumsiness, imprecision of our instruments.

Semantically, observer effect can mean, anytime 2 things meet, they can effect each other. If a tree falls in the forest and no humans to witness it, it still makes a sound.

No idea if I’m understanding any of this correctly.

Holy hell. In the past few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about quantum physics, the observer effect, the double slit experiment, how misunderstanding leads to a lot of confusion, quantum woo, quantum mysticism. Ive literally been practicing how to explain these things to a lay person. That, for instance, the observer effect, it has nothing to do with a human observing.

Anyhow, hello from my equally nerdy side of the universe.

Friends started to make bets that within 5 minutes of any conversation, I’ll perk up and say excitedly, “I researched that!” And then bring up obscure, detailed facts. I don’t like that I can be so predictable… But wait, you ask, did the three fates have names? Well, I only know the Greek version, but there were Roman fates, fates in other cultures, woah, that made me think of Romulus and Remus for some reason, I read a fascinating book about them… 2 minutes later we are talking about the rise and fall of Rome, and the geopolitical realities of some obscure eastern European country in the spring of 1654.

2 decades ago I got the cutest kitten from the local shelter. I loved that cat. Started to notice, he was getting increasingly skittish around me. I realized cuz… I didn’t realize I was doing it, I was never mean. but whenever he’d jump on me, wake me up, scratch something… my freaked out, startled response I think started to scare him.

Would love to get another cat, but that it might become scared, uneasy around me… don’t want to risk it.

Oh yes. Adhd, autism here, so severe over stimulation, impulse issues. Also. Grew up in abusive, violent childhood, where the only conflict resolution taught me was to yell, scream, throw things, lose it. Took me years of therapy to to try to overcome. These are what helped the most, some I do daily.

Dbt, cbt. Focusing on chatter in brain, learning to control it. Various centering, grounding exercises, including

Narrating my actions. Now I’m opening the door, now reaching into pocket…

Close eyes, focus on each of the 5 senses in turn.

Close eyes, just move, without thought, I do this a lot, it looks kinda like Tai chi.

I have a lot of mantras, including:

Let go of the anger, let go of the hate. Don’t become emotionally attached to an abuser. No assumptions, no expectations, no judgment. This is not all of me. Observe, describe, participate. I am both observer and observed.

I’ve learned anger can be useful. Helps recognize problem. Spurs to action. But it’s self sabotaging long term. I don’t like feeling out of control, consumed with hate. I don’t enjoy hurting ppl.

Becoming a violent, out of control abuser, to me, is embarrassing. It’s low class, uneducated, and I’m so much better than that. I try to learn from my mistakes, gain greater control over myself.

To be filled with hateful anger towards someone, that means they have power over me. It’s a form of intimacy, commitment, and why would I expose myself , become that intimate with someone I don’t like?

Ymmv.