As in no motivation, no will, completely dead inside, too tired and too depressed to do anything, brain is stuck in PTSD mode all the time, etc etc. how do you manage? Especially if you have no one or anything to turn to and with a shitty economy everywhere to boot?
A couple of things particularly help me, though I’m in a slightly different boat mental health wise.
The first is simple, your mind can’t be trusted, it’s lying to you. The looming monster is far more of a paper tiger than it seems. The feeling nothing good happens? That’s mostly it forgetting all the positives and just focusing on every negative it can find. The lack of support? It’s often there, if you reach out. Your own mind is telling you it’s not.
None of this makes it easier to fight far from it. It’s all in your head is also where you are stuck. It does however give you a target. This leads on to the second point.
Anchoring. If you can’t trust your mind, you need something to hang on to. Something to reference. Anchors are that. They are stakes you drive into your own mind. Some will act as lighthouses. They let me tell how I’m drifting. Others are more concrete. I have a set of actions and habits that exist mostly to keep me stable. They are like pinions in rock climbing, when I fall, they stop me tumbling too far. They give me lines to pull on to climb back up.
Anchors can take many forms. The simplest are logical decisions you have taken that you KNOW to be true. You make them through logic and decision, and know to trust them ahead of time. E.g. When the insidious voice tells me I’m worthless, I KNOW I have value. I can deny the voice and cling to the truth. Its almost weaponised denial. It is true, discussion over, end of.
The other form is habit sets. These are the most powerful, but harder. I’ve set up social expectations I don’t want to drop. I have decided that I will go, even when I don’t want to. The events, in turn, can break me out of funks and put me back on familiar ground. They can be as simple as “I will make the bed each morning” or “I will keep the kitchen clean”. They can be more complex like “I will attend the club every Wednesday” or “I will call my cousin once a week”.
If you were a cloth, anchors are the spikes used to hold you in shape. We can’t hold the cloth down with just 2 hands, not in gale force winds. The more pegs we have, the better we can control the shape, and so ourselves. You will slip, you will lose anchors, but other will catch you. They let you make progress and KEEP it.
It’s daunting, but start simple, put down a few mental pegs things you logically know to be true, but often don’t believe. Build slowly from there.
As I said, my mental health issues are a slightly different path. It does share a lot of commonalities with yours, so hopefully my ramblings can help.