I need major help with this. I am stagnating in life, I don’t know where to go next due to this issue.

The things I like to do (in cycles bc, as title said i dont stick to hobbies) are always something super competitive or don’t make any money. I like to learn, so I dive into all sorts of hobbies like coding, 3D art, vfx, video game development, a whole bunch of random things (but are generally about creation).

I do not have the ambition, motivation, or lasting interest to pursue just one of these things, ESPECIALLY not as a career. If I pick a career path based on a passing interest, I will hate my career and become even more depressed, and honestly just quit no matter the consequences (ive done this with jobs). I literally will pour hours of dedication into learning something random like coding (on this right now), and drop it next week like I never touched it and move on to another thing. I cant force myself to go back to it, either. This is a painful process to me, it’s as though my learning is all in vain as I let my knowledge fade away, and worse, this makes it so I CANNOT settle on a career.

If anyone has any advice for me, I am open to every and all suggestions. If you have been through similar and got through it, please let me know how. I do take adderall btw.

edit: thank you all for your thoughtful responses, i have read them and i do plan on answering as soon as i have the time! thank you guys so so much 💜

#adhd

  • brownpaperbag@kbin.social
    3·
    1 year ago

    @shepherd has captured my sentiments on this, existing in a similar boat of hobby fixation and jumping.

    I found something tolerable that has enough day to day variation, [usually] weekly mental challenges that involve my problem solving skills (I’m a software project manager), and enough communication-based activities that I’m mostly okay with it nearly 10 years in. Caveat: I have been working remotely since late 2016 and this is probably a huge part of staying with it for me. I stumbled into this career path in 2008 via a temp role for sales admin at a software company that then became a full time role. That I then automated 90% of and earned myself an opportunity to move into support which eventually got me where I am now.

    All that said - I am bored. I’d like to do something else. I don’t know what that looks like. But I have [very slowly] accepted that it’s okay to be bored and that all the new skills and hobbies I like to acquire and dabble in will slowly paint a picture of new, unconsidered possibilities for future opportunities. Heck, I joined up with a volunteer fire department last year and that is scratching so many itches: constantly learning, regular training and meetings, no call is ever the same, I get to leverage skills I’ve been developing and using for decades, I get some socializing, and I get to help people. I’m exploring this chaos with my regular, boring job and I’m hoping to find that balance.

    Apologies if that was rambly.

    • shepherd@kbin.social
      3·
      1 year ago

      @brownpaperbag No apology needed. I read your ramble, and your thoughts have worth!

      It sounds like you’ve been guiding your ship for a long time, that’s great to hear! I’m really happy for you, that’s actually a really big deal lol.

      And oh man, I’m thrilled to hear that firefighting is working out for you. I don’t need it right now, but it’s something I’ve thought about often and I guess I’m saving it for when I need to shake things up again.

      @minnieo

      Brownpaperbag is a great example of someone who’s picked something tolerable for them, and is now exploring the world.

      They initially picked a part-time temp job that seemed okay, and then gently bounced around as they dialled in how much responsibility they can handle vs what they can tolerate. That’s just right! That’s what I want for you minnieo.

      And they’re also working out the chaos part, but because they’re not on a sinking ship, they get to take their time with the journey. Take their time exploring. Brown has space for their chaos, and that’s the goal here.

      Keep going brown!!

      • brownpaperbag@kbin.social
        3·
        1 year ago

        @shepherd thank you for that extremely thoughtful, supportive, and kind reply!

        If you do ever head the firefighting direction, feel free to reach out! I’m still a probie for another 3 months but happy to share anything I’m able to.